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www.divorcedparents.co.uk Kim Beatson Mediation’s what you need


Kim Beatson explains why divorce mediation can make the divorce process less agonising


I


attended a wedding a while ago where the atmosphere was tense rather than joyful, because the bride’s parents had divorced 10 years previ- ously, and animosity reigned. Not only do children suffer during an angry divorce, but as young adults getting married they still have to deal with their parents inability to create peace. So what can a divorc- ing couple do to make sure they can attend their children’s weddings in the future, without ruining the happy day? Increasingly, couples are choos- ing mediation as a civilised way of resolving disputes that arise when a relationship ends, such as whether to divorce or separate, and what arrange- ments should be made for the children, finance and accommodation. Mediation has nothing to do with rec-


onciliation. Instead, couples meet with a trained mediator to identify the areas of disagreement and explore the areas for settlement. Both parties are encour- aged to take independent legal advice at the end of it, but ultimately, they take control of their own divorce. I conducted a mediation recently


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with a couple who had accepted the marriage was over, but were still living in the same house and wanted to come to an agreement about access to the children that meant they could continue to be active co-parents. Alan had a new relationship and this upset Susan- nah, who was worried about how this would effect the children, and they were unable to agree about whether the matrimonial home should be sold. Mediation made it possible to agree contact so Alan spent time with the children and they wouldn’t meet his girlfriend until after the separation. The couple also both decided that the house should be sold and how the return was divided.


They only visited their own lawyers to assess the agreement, which meant their legal bills were low, and there was no expensive and emotionally traumatic court process. The process of mediation is much quicker than a protracted legal battle – often a matter of only a few weeks


Kim is an expert on the Alternative Divorce Guide www.AlternativeDivorceGuide.com


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