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anymore. We had a son who at the time wasn’t quite 4 years old. After 5 months I thought I was ready to date again.
I went on dates mostly with
guys I met on the internet and got involved in a few “crash and burn” relationships. As I found out being a single parent was a huge barrier for dating for a combination of reasons. I was “damaged goods”, working
full time and being a mom severely limited the time I even had to date. Eight months after the divorce, I decided that the efforts to get over my ex weren’t enough. I realised
Starting a new relationship after divorce M
y ex husband decided he didn’t want to be married
I needed some support. I found a divorce support group and attended a 12 week session.
I learned a lot
about divorce and the effect it had on the adult, and any children involved. After a few bad experiences,
I
was reluctant to dating altogether for over two years.
I learned that you have to give
yourself time to let yourself be single and really focus on your children. The statistics for a second marriage failing are even higher than those of
first marriages. I don’t feel it’s
a good idea to involve children in your dating life until someone comes along that’s going to stick around.
Treat people how you would like to be treat “W
hat sort of people would you like your children
to grow up to be? This is a very important question which is worth giving some thought. We tend to get caught up in our own topsy turvy world when a relationship collapses. It’s easy to think our children are busy with their own stuff - watching T.V, playing with friends, homework etc. We tend to think that we can communicate discreetly so that they don’t pick up on the hostility, or we
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might not even bother to try and be discreet!!!
Roll on ten years or more and
what do we have? Young people that communicate in exactly the same way we do - they had been taking it all in after all, and now they’re behaving in the same way we did and sometimes it’s even aimed at us! If we want our children to grow up to be kind, caring, tolerant, understanding, forgiving, aware and couragous, then we have to teach
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