This page contains a Flash digital edition of a book.
12 Easy Steps to Really By Joseph P. Sciulli

If you really like ticking off your parking facility customers, be sure to implement

these tried and true rules for really bad customer service. Seems like everybody is doing it these days – must be the coming thing, the latest manage- ment fad. Maybe you or your employees have tried a few, yourselves. And just one note before you start: While the

list can be read from the top down, you can also read it from the bottom up. Either way is fine, giv- en the topic.

STEP1: Hire unmotivated and unfriendly

people. It’s OK to finally admit it: not everyone’s got the personality or the temperament to deal with customers. Hire them anyway, and put them on the front line. They represent you, after all, and you’re feeling a bit mad at the world these days too, so as a great naval hero once said, “Damn the customers, full speed ahead!” STEP2: Spare all expenses in giving your

frontline folks clean working conditions worthy of self-respect. Grimy locker rooms are what we want. Office carpets like a fine wine: aged and stained. Phones and chairs and keyboards only an antiques dealer could love. STEP3: Be sure you never discuss the mis-

sion of the organization or how it’s performing. We’re all just working for a buck anyway. Never, ever apply the quote from former General of the Army and President of the U.S. Dwight D. Eisen- hower, who said, “Americans either cannot or will not fight to the best of their ability unless they know the whys and wherefores of their orders.” Rubbish. Don’t substitute “work” for the word fight in this quite. STEP4: Instruct your counter people never

to get up off their seats when a customer comes in. They should stay where they are at all times and address the customer from wherever they are, even in the back of the office behind the glass partition while in their chairs. STEP5: When your folks can’t avoid dealing with a customer

in person, tell them to avoid eye contact with the poor sap at all costs. Never, ever have them look up from a form they’re com- pleting. Speech without eye contact is a winner!Agreat on-street manager from Philly used to call this “thinly veiled contempt”. Like the old saw about voting in Chicago, do it early and often. STEP6: This one’s pretty important: Bad Attitude. If you

don’t have it, get it - quickly. Steps 1 to 3 can usually be counted on to cultivate the B.A. for your front-line folks. The customers get in the way of their real job anyway, which is filling-out forms and reports that nobody looks at, and requisitioning items from supply that they’ll never receive. STEP7: Have your employees perfect the art of implying the customer is dumb, stupid, ignorant, and imposing on their time


for having the audacity to disturb them with a question or ask for assistance. Several techniques come in handy here: the eye roll, the stone face look, the disparaging under-the-breath comment when turning away, and especially the outright lie. Help your folks develop these skills by dosing them regularly on negative feedback, outrageous expectations and blame, or by ignoring them completely. STEP8: Ensure a dirty garage, dirty elevators, dirty stair-

wells, and dirty lobbies, and for extra credit, broken gates that don’t raise all the way. If you have all five, name your garage “Dirty Landings”. And the dirtier the garage, the better, as it should keep customers from coming back and bothering the employees. Don’t forget to take extra credit for rodent remains. Customer complaints about any of these? See Steps 6 and 7.

Parking Today

Page 1  |  Page 2  |  Page 3  |  Page 4  |  Page 5  |  Page 6  |  Page 7  |  Page 8  |  Page 9  |  Page 10  |  Page 11  |  Page 12  |  Page 13  |  Page 14  |  Page 15  |  Page 16  |  Page 17  |  Page 18  |  Page 19  |  Page 20  |  Page 21  |  Page 22  |  Page 23  |  Page 24  |  Page 25  |  Page 26  |  Page 27  |  Page 28  |  Page 29  |  Page 30  |  Page 31  |  Page 32  |  Page 33  |  Page 34  |  Page 35  |  Page 36  |  Page 37  |  Page 38  |  Page 39  |  Page 40  |  Page 41  |  Page 42  |  Page 43  |  Page 44  |  Page 45  |  Page 46  |  Page 47  |  Page 48  |  Page 49  |  Page 50  |  Page 51  |  Page 52  |  Page 53  |  Page 54  |  Page 55  |  Page 56  |  Page 57  |  Page 58  |  Page 59  |  Page 60  |  Page 61  |  Page 62  |  Page 63  |  Page 64