Crumbling:


my journey to a gluten-free life by sonja langford


After suffering for many months, on the one hand it was relieving to finally have a solution, and on the other, it was disappointing to find out that it was some of the things I loved most that were giving me so much pain. But our Father is good, and in His infinite mercy and grace He prepared my heart, tilling the ground while I was unaware.


It began with the startling realization that sometimes the things I wanted most would give me the most pain—the lesson parents teach over and over again to their children. Of course, the toddler who repeatedly crawls to an open oven door has no idea that what he wants is so dangerous; that’s why parents quickly pull him away.


However, imagine if that toddler was given what he wanted—a chance to touch those glowing red bars on the bottom of the oven? It’s quite the epiphany when you finally understand that so often the things you most desire are the very things that will hurt you the most.


Self-discipline is learning to say “no” to what I want now. It’s choosing to say “no” to food I can’t eat in the restaurant. It’s saying “no” to surfing the web when I should be studying. It’s saying “yes” to reading my Scriptures in the morning instead of checking my e-mail. It’s living a life that looks past the immediate, the here and the now. Because, while life is made up of the here’s and now’s, it’s also about the future.


And, if the Father wills it, my future will include having children of my own, and quickly I’ll find that the areas I allowed myself to slack and be un- disciplined in will not just suddenly become areas I excel and am strong in.


And then I will be faced with either having to start working on them or having to live with them as they are and watch as the little lives go on looking, watching, and imitating me. It is then that the repercussions will be greater and more painful because my responsibility will be greater.


volume 1 issue 1 | page 33


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