We overcome temptations by living according to the Bible (Torah Lifestyle) all the time, having a relationship with Yahweh, talking to Him in prayer, and reading the Scriptures.
Girls being around guys and guys being around girls can awaken thoughts and desires that are God given; however, the enemy may use these God given desires to try to take them into unhealthy desires.
We have the choice to either respond with a Godly response or allow the enemy to distort it. As for me personally, I find asking myself the question “Am I treating this guy like a brother?” to be a good guard.
That means that, even if a guy has caught my attention, you cannot tell from my actions or attitude any difference in how I treat him from the other guys who have not caught my eye. This wall of protection helps to keep my heart in align as I seek to fully give that area back to Yahweh and keep it a healthy desire surrendered to Him.
One important key is that we all need accountability partners. The best person to choose would be our parents, but if they are unable or unwilling to do so because of death, not being saved, or separation by distance, find an older Godly couple who is willing.
An accountability partner is someone who is older than you that has been there and can help you through this area of singleness. I have personally found having my parents there to talk with me, pray with me, encourage me, and understand me has helped in innumerable ways. I also have a couple of close friends who are believers, and we seek to encourage each other as we walk similar paths.
The other area that I have found important is to guard what we read, what we watch, and what we listen to. If we are constantly listening to romantic love songs or reading books focused on romance, we easily lead ourselves into a focus on this area.
Rather, we need to remember our focus as singles page 14 |
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is to be on Yahweh and our relationship with Him. Do not allow yourself to slip into the way the world tries to make relationships work - jumping from one person to another, having no standards, and sexual immorality. Remember, we are to be a set apart people!
One of my favorite quotes is “You don’t have to do anything but concentrate on being the right person - the person Yahweh wants you to be - instead of finding the right person. Godly marriages are made by first living Godly lives. It is Yahweh’s responsibility to whether you will marry and when you will marry. The arrangement is up to Him. How simple...Yahweh is [then] the matchmaker.”
You see, by allowing Yahweh to be the matchmaker, you are freed to focus on your relationship with Yahweh until that time when He brings you and your future mate together.
Once we have gotten the base built of our relationship with Yahweh, there are a few things to be working on during this time of preparation. One, notice the positive and negative. Notice what turns you off when you are around other singles. Is he or she flirty? Or does this person not show respect to other people?
Begin making a list of things you do not want in your future mate. At the same time, notice the positive. Is she a cheerful helper when she see something that needs doing? Is he willing to help with the younger children in the group?
Add these items which stand out to you as well as considering the opposites of the negatives which you have listed such as genuine (opposite of flirt) and respectful (opposite of disrespectful).
Learn from your brothers and sisters. It is very helpful to establish a standard before you are considering a relationship. Once the emotions are awakened, it is very easy to slip on rose colored glasses and forget the discernment. This list along with accountability are two key ways to keep the glasses of reality on.
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