Healthcare
chains and the environmental health, once that UK holiday exodus to foreign climes commenced. And ironically it was ‘Disgusted, Woking’ who changed the gastronomic landscape in the United Kingdom forever and the likes of Oliver, Blanc and Novelli stepped out from the wings, accordingly. But where is he when we most need him?
The sad fact is that ‘Disgusted, Woking’ is in possession of the same optical and neurological blind-spot we all are when it comes to contemplating the standards of foreign medical facilities – we just don’t want to know and it hasn’t registered that many countries are streets ahead when it comes to posh hospital architecture.
My biggest fear is that the MP touting the wares of the NHS will put us in an impossibly embarrassing position by accepting a request for a viewing from the likes of a couple of Sheikhs from the exotic lands of super posh hospitals. Their tour may consist of embarrassing ‘rings of healthcare dilapidation’
planted about the
is the sad fact that many of the chronic and terminally ill cannot travel due to insurance impediments and treatment complications, thus there is no one available to consistently test the innards of the healthcare facilities of our foreign brothers, report back and campaign accordingly. ‘What the eye doesn’t see’ is providing truly massive and perennial benefits for our stingy, can’t-be-arsed government healthcare executives. And don’t forget that most of the hospital admissions of Brits abroad are probably not ones the nature of which it would be wise for one to speak openly about. Let’s face it - who’d want the neighbours finding out that after you’d consumed a litre bottle of bolly, you’d snoozed off in the
sun and woken up resembling a tiger with forth degree burns. That hideous, bilious hangover haze accompanying the rising anxiety as to whether you’ll get past the ‘due care and attention’ clause in your holiday insurance with some garbage about being shoved on to an open beach BBQ by a tidal wave is enough to distract you from the process of comparing any foreign A&E with that of your local hospital.
It thus never occurs to us that perhaps we might lobby the health minister in the same way as the type of person who signed themselves off as ‘Disgusted, Woking’ on the British consumer affairs programme, ‘Points of View’, eventually started on restaurant
Metropolis and beyond, at which they will look on in horror and politely say: ‘no thanks love’, then dart straight back on their private jet to the Middle East. In fact, I can imagine them turning pasty on the flight home at the thought of that generous helping of 3 day-old ‘NHS Slap-down’ they were forced to consume in some godforsaken NHS canteen. I can also predict the 40 calls they would have already received from the ever hopeful NHS Global Sales Office even before the nose of their jet has drawn level with the Channel.
So is there no hope in sight for an end to the perennial British healthcare farce? As for the MP ‘moonlighting’ as Business Development Director of NHS Global, their attitude was something resembling that of Alan Partridge– it was the very worst of mortifyingly narrow-minded, parochial and cringingly self-satisfied and self- important Britain. It was bad enough showing off about the NHS, let alone attempting to showcase it. And I don’t know about ‘Little Britain’. I think that ‘Tiny Britain’ might be more appropriate in this case.
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