JUNE 2012
A June Wedding Political Junkie
By Joe Sherrier
With all this talk about gay marriage in the politisphere, one particular marriage of re- cent vintage is getting over- looked. I am referring to the arranged marriage of Mitt Romney and Congressional Re- publicans. The Establishment Fathers demanded this union with a shotgun full of cash, and what the Fathers want, the Fa- thers get. The GOP leadership for its part is willing to over- look any of their new political spouse’s shortcomings because, as we all know, this Massachu- setts mate comes with a heck of a dowry. Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac. The Democratic Party is
trapped in their own dysfunc- tional marriage with their cool and aloof spouse, Barack Obama. The Dems complain that he never listens to them anymore and doesn’t carry his weight when it comes to House-hold chores. Regardless, loyal progressives realize that this union is “for better and for worse,” and they are approach- ing the next four years with fingers crossed and a nagging regret that they didn’t demand a prenup. This recent letter from John
Boehner to the nation spells out what Romney has vowed to love, honor and obey: Dear Fellow Americans and Democrats: Now that Campaign Season
2012 is upon us, it’s time to look back and bask in the glory of our legislative accomplish- ments. You voted for us to take action and we did. In our first two years in power, we: Repealed the Kennedy Cen-
ter Honor given to Barbra Stre- isand in 2008. Renamed California “New Reagan.” (HR 1984, approved by voice vote) Defined personhood in the
Call For An Easy Phone Quote
law as beginning with “the twinkle in your father’s eye.” (HR 1973, sponsored by Michele Bachmann) Privatized the Food and Drug Administration (“If a company produces food that kills the consumer, that company will not be in business for long be- cause the survivors will take their food purchasing power elsewhere. That, my friends, is the market at work!” –Rep. Paul Ryan, during the memo- rable floor debate.) Required that activist judg-
es wear a scarlet letter “A” on their robes during public hear- ings.
Lowered the tax rate for in-
dividual earners making over $500,000 per year to 0%. “These are the small business profes- sionals, the entrepreneurs, the plumbers who took the risks to create jobs in this country. They deserve the reward and the incentive to continue their pro-growth ways. Anything more would be anti-success.”
–Rep. Mike Pence Designated the months of
March through December as White History Months. Repealed DADT (Don’t Ask,
Don’t Tell) in a demonstration of bipartisanship, and replaced with “Let Me Be Frank with You,” named after outgoing Rep. Barney Frank. The new regulations allow openly gay
individuals to serve their coun- try with honor, assuming they agree not to make eye contact with fellow soldier and only participate in peace-keeping assignments. Defunded the National En- dowment for the Arts, and re- allocated funding to where the money can work for the middle class: the U.S. Chamber of Com- merce. And our signature achieve-
ment: Construction of a bor- der fence along our Southern and Northern borders has been completed. The fences are 15- feet high, topped with barbed wire, and fully electrified, guaranteed to keep out global warming from the south, and global cooling from the north. The deficit continues to
rise, unemployment remains dangerously high, and spend- ing has grown these past three years, but we will not take the low road and blame President Obama and his Socialist agenda for destroying the very founda- tion of capitalism and freedom, and replacing it with his ver- sion of Sharia law. While we fully recognize that economic conditions in this country are still below our lofty expecta- tions, we also acknowledge that things will continue to deterio- rate until the GOP has control of the Senate, White House, Su- preme Court, and quite possibly Mexico. We can say with pride,
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