It seems to me that guilt does little to
prevent overeating, eating the wrong foods, eating the right foods, getting leaner, getting bigger, eating or not eating Aunt Betty’s birthday cake. It doesn’t deter saying or doing the wrong things, from treating ourselves or others badly. Guilt doesn’t deter these behaviors, because we continue to do them. Guilt is excellent at keeping us mired in negativity and bad feelings – the things we use guilt for to try to avoid. It’s a nasty, clever cycle, and we are so good at it! How many times have you heard the expression “damned if you do and damned if you don’t?” We get to be guilty either way. In other words, guilt is excellent at keeping us mired in our misery. Now, guilt is different than under- standing cause and effect, or understand- ing consequences. You know that if you eat pasta three times daily for three days, you’re going to wake up on that 4th day and your midsection is going to have a different look than before your pasta kick. Your body responds in a predictable way. So, here, the outcome is the same. The internal environment, depending on how conscious you were when you made that choice, is totally different. You eat the pasta or you don’t.
Using guilt or fear of punishment/ consequence as a deterrent to behavior is no better than using a belt to make a child “be good”. You’ve enslaved yourself, as that child is enslaved. I’ve learned that for me, in my life, the
cultivation of negativity, stress and guilt only generates more negativity, stress and guilt. I cannot overcome my guilt and my issues – regarding body and deeper heart- felt issues – by becoming more guilty. I find that it paralyzes me in a way…it jerks my mind into this insane broken record. To put out a fire – do you throw more
fire on it? Understanding where this guilt comes
from – that gap of what is and what you think should’ve been – and grabbing the reins for our behavior and it’s consequenc- es – those are the keys to self-realization and self-actualization, and that turns ev- erything on its head, to a more positive place.
When I realized that I will never, ever
win a fight against the past or “what is” (aka: reality) it was an enormous relief. By fighting what is – that means in our own heads, generating guilt about the things we want differently. Which is different than
Natural Triad Magazine MAY 2012 29
moving forward consciously to make change. Change can happen with so much less stress. How do I know? Experience. And if it can happen for me, it can happen for you. I was the Queen of Guilt. This has brought a measure of clarity
and has helped me take those steps to- wards my goals with a kind of joy and excitement, which is way, way better than walking forward in guilt, self-punishment and dread. So I have come to see that I do not need guilt to motivate me or “keep me in line”. The kind-of opposites of guilt: curios- ity, awe, gratitude, innocence – are far
Jillian Teta, ND
more powerful, nourishing moti- vators.
And I’m will- ing to bet that they will produce bet- ter outcomes, too.
Jillian Sarno Teta, ND is a medically trained naturopathic doctor, who practices at the Naturopathic Health Clinic of NC located in Winston-Salem. For an appointment, call 336-724-4452. Visit
www.NHCNC.com for more info. See ad on page 25.
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