Guilt
is the story that we tell ourselves of what
G
should have happened but didn’t.
uilt is
a major part of our lives. For a lot of us, we had it as a parenting style—or have it still, as a relationship style. When it comes to food, body change, our health and rela- tionships and the psychology of change, guilt is a big, bright red button that is eas- ily pushed. So, I do not want to give you the im-
pression that I am a guilt-free guilt master, because I’m not, but this is a concept I have been doing a lot of internal reflection on. There is a gap between what actually happened/happens (called Reality) and what we thought should’ve/ could’ve hap- pened (a self-generated image or concept).
Caldwell Catering Co.
Providing customized, healthy meals
• Personal Chef Services • Event Catering • Therapeutic Cooking • Cooking Classes at The Creative Center or in-home
Consider a Gift Certificate for Mother’s Day
Chef Steven Caldwell
Natural Chef, Member Slow Foods USA and Southern Foodways Alliance 336.414.2171
28
steve@caldwellcatering.com www.CaldwellCatering.com NaturalTriad.com
In this gap is where guilt lies. Guilt is the story that we tell ourselves
of what should’ve happened but didn’t. In other words, it’s fighting reality. We stress and wrestle internally about how what did happen, should not have. How crazy is it to fight something that is already done, gone, finished? There is no judge- ment here, let’s just say it takes one to know one! Yet, we do it constantly. The other kicker? All of these should’ve
and could haves, these rules that we have for ourselves and others are self-generated and self imposed, often based on impos-
sible expectations and/or insecurities. “But wait”, you may be saying, “don’t we need guilt to stay in line, to be on our best behavior?” I am saying no, we don’t. We don’t need guilt to stay in line, we can stay in line and be perfectly happy without it. Let’s have a closer look. We think we need guilt - something that makes us feel bad - to prevent behav- ior that will ultimately make us feel bad. So, we sit there, feeling bad, to prevent us from feeling bad? We already feel bad! There we are, sitting in misery! Let me ask you two questions: 1. Has guilt ever set you free? 2. Does guilt actually, reliably pre-
vent/deter behavior that you are guilty about?
Page 1 |
Page 2 |
Page 3 |
Page 4 |
Page 5 |
Page 6 |
Page 7 |
Page 8 |
Page 9 |
Page 10 |
Page 11 |
Page 12 |
Page 13 |
Page 14 |
Page 15 |
Page 16 |
Page 17 |
Page 18 |
Page 19 |
Page 20 |
Page 21 |
Page 22 |
Page 23 |
Page 24 |
Page 25 |
Page 26 |
Page 27 |
Page 28 |
Page 29 |
Page 30 |
Page 31 |
Page 32 |
Page 33 |
Page 34 |
Page 35 |
Page 36 |
Page 37 |
Page 38 |
Page 39 |
Page 40 |
Page 41 |
Page 42 |
Page 43 |
Page 44 |
Page 45 |
Page 46 |
Page 47 |
Page 48 |
Page 49 |
Page 50 |
Page 51 |
Page 52