I guess when you spend so much time trying to not
look a certain way, it’s automatically all the more excit- ing when you can express yourself freely. Was this one of the reasons they accepted the social difficulties of living in an area where they weren’t welcome? I would always say, “why not move to N.Y.C., where you can hold hands freely and not have to worry about freaking people out?” They would insist that they like their life and the good makes up for the bad. Interestingly enough, I would have said the exact thing about living there myself at the time.
WHERE A GIRL CAN GET SOME LOVE by angelica osborne
HOMO HAVEN…
love visiting my gay friend’s homes—it’s always such an escape! Don’t get me wrong, I love my hetero friend’s homes too, but it’s dif- ferent. It’s always a holiday with my gays and there is always lots of
wine and dessert! Many of the gay friends I’ve had, especially down South where I’m from,
treat their home as more of a sanctuary. I think since they often are very reserved in public, holding back their natural charisma so as not to stand out too much—their home holds a sacred space and they treat it and decorate it as such. It’s where they can be themselves, where they can let their freak flag fly, so they treasure it. I have a gay couple in Alabama I was good friends with who were total Martha Stewart wannabes. They love to decoupage pictures of vintage boys on their furniture, plant their flowers in M.S. approved pat- terns and hand draw their wall paper! (I’m not even kidding about that!) No children, but they have a humongous golden lab with a bathing fetish
and a couple of unfortunate cats who bare the brunt of his energy. Obviously the dog was a constant issue and they each blamed the other for falling in love with the tiny puppy that grew into a small cow, that constantly knocked things over and tracked in piles of dirt, etc. They would freak out and say things like, “Well she’s so fat because you give her all those treats!” “Me? I saw you feed her the rest of your chicken salad sandwich yesterday!” “That was just a tiny bite—then you stop putting her pills in bacon!” “Okay, then you give her the pills stupid!” Both laughingly play fight then fall into a heap on the couch—even their bickering is flirtatious.
28 RAGE monthly | MARCH 2012
are seeing happy families so the gay marriage and family move- ment can move forward! Until then I’m making my personal space a sacred space...”
“Hopefully more and more people My fave gay couple Sean and Robbie, live in New Jer-
sey and also treat their 1,200 square foot apartment as if it’s a temple—no shoes, no animals, no trans fats and no kids. So you can imagine their horror when our friend Nikki bought her six-year old son, Max, to their house- warming party. Sean shoved us all out onto the balcony and shut the door so Max could not see us smoking.
We were forced to hide behind the Chinese silk folding screen with the huge glass hookah, while the boys peeked through and Robbie whispers loudly, “I can’t believe she brought Max to our party! That kid is such an asshole.” Sean play slapped him saying, “Shut up, he’s just a kid! Why don’t you let him play with your G.I. Joes? Robbie looks mortified and says, “What? He’d mess them all up!” “Oh come on, what’s he gonna do...” Robbie abruptly stops as he sees Max scooping out handfuls of the M&Ms
inside the glass dish on the doilies ever so elegantly set on the dining room table. “No! What are you doing?” Sean runs in the room. “The spoon! Please use the spoon!” He comes back out onto the balcony, shaking his head about to speak, as we all see Max using the spoon to shovel the M&Ms into his mouth as if eating a bowl of cereal, forcing Sean and Robbie from the haven of the balcony back to the catering nightmare. We all found it hilarious but Sean and Robbie didn’t exhale the rest of the night. I have also known more than one family with two dads who don’t encapsu-
late the anal-retentive trait and are completely at ease with a house full of kids running around. Hopefully more and more people are seeing these happy families, so the gay marriage and family movement can move forward! Until then I’m making my personal space a sacred space... On days when I can’t, because the hubby’s football game is stupid loud and the cats are fighting and the kids used my white towel to clean up a sharpie... I will head to my gay boyfriend’s house to have a cocktail and a laugh, kick back on their perfect white chaise lounge with no stains, that has a delightful story tied to it.
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