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by sylvia rodemeyer


t’s a rather embarrassing first-world problem, but right now far too much of my time is filled obsessing over finding a per- fect dining room table. After almost four years together, and nearly three living together, Annie and I had accumulated


a mix of furniture that was functional but didn’t really speak to our developing aesthetic. So when we moved in two months ago, we decided to start from


scratch, bringing only minimal furniture to our new place and only accumulate pieces that we really loved. That meant moving without a dining table and chairs, a couch or coffee table. No big deal. Or so Annie and I thought. That we somehow visual-


ized this beautiful, practical and affordable dining room set that seems entirely reasonable. But in reality, we have not been able to find something that meets our requirements. Instead, the fairly large dining room in our apartment sits empty as we ponder choices from The Long Beach Flea Market (every third Sunday of the month at Long Beach City College), vintage wares at InRetrospect at 2122 E. 4th Street in Long Beach (inretrospect.com) and even Craigslist. If we are still not successful by next weekend, we will be making the


trip down to San Diego to MetroDecor at 1210 W. Morena Boulevard, Suite. B, in San Diego (metrodecoronline.com) a shop I stumbled across while helping a friend choose furniture when she moved to the area a few years ago. Hopefully the distance will provide some per- spective and we’ll be able to find the perfect piece. Which would be great, because as much as I have enjoyed taking my time in perfecting


our new space and getting every element just right, I’ll be so happy when I don’t have to decide on yet another shower curtain, accent rug or kitchen towel. Part of the reason we are having such difficulty picking out other-


wise trivial pieces of furniture, is the knowledge that this is likely the place we will start our family. When I look at potential dining room tables, I picture a highchair next to it and cleaning errant Cheerios from underneath it. When I sit in a rocking chair we’re considering, I wonder how rocking a newborn to sleep in it will be. When everything is viewed from that angle, nothing seems perfect enough. This excessive planning also stems from the way we as a queer


couple are going about starting our family. Unlike many heterosexual couples who get pregnant without much planning or forethought (ei- ther unplanned, or with minimal planning and simply discontinuing birth control), there will be no happy accidents or upcoming appear- ances on I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant, because for us, having a child will be heavily calculated. Whether we adopt or utilize the donor we have selected, there are additional legal procedures for both of us to have full parental rights. If we adopt, there will be classes and observa- tion hours and an indeterminate waiting period. If the donor process is successful, there will be expensive medical procedures and anxious pregnancy tests. So for now, maybe just focusing on finding a dining room table is enough, and knowing that whenever we do find that perfect piece, I can hope it will soon have my growing family around it.


Nesting


accident or upcoming appearance on I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant, because, for us, having a child will be heavily calculated.


...There will be no happy 26 RAGE RAGE monthly | MARCH 2012 monthly | MARCH 2012


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