11.
Harold & Ethel. Ethel: A young man tried to mug me this morning at the back of the Coop. Harold: What did you say?
This morning I bought myself some sensible walking boots and a little rucksack and set off for the Lake District. I walked for about 5 miles then I sat on a stone, opened my rucksack and poured a cup of coffee. Then I walked about another 5 miles, sat down again and had a Mars Bar. After that I walked towards a beautiful lake, admiring the scenery…… Sorry, I’m Rambling.
Ethel: I told him I didn’t have any money. Harold: What happened ? Ethel: He frisked me absolutely all over, it was the most thorough frisking I’ve ever had. Harold: Did he find any money ? Ethel: No. But I told him if he wanted to frisk me again I could write him a cheque.
I remember the days when hospital staff were super and the bugs were nowhere to be seen. Now it’s the other way around.
Voluntary work ? I wouldn’t do that if you paid me !
Padiham Football Clubs start to the new football season has been dogged by problems on and off the pitch, with the first team struggling in their opening league fixtures and then going out of this seasons FA Cup competition at the first hurdle. Add to this a dispute the club is having with the local council about Padiham FCs general waste policy and you can see why club secretary and trustee Alan Smith is pulling his hair out at the moment. However as the song says "things can only get better" and a recent victory over Bacup Borough FC at the Arbories has lifted the gloom some what on the playing side but the club still has problems over its removal of waste policy. For some time now the club has recycled its cans and bottles but left its other waste at the residents rubbish collection point next to their ground. According to the local council this is not permissible and the club now needs to dispose of all waste generated or brought into the football ground via an authorised waste carrier and have an audit trail of where all its rubbish goes. This is a process all businesses have to undertake, the dispute the football club is having is that they do not consider themselves a business but a not for profit organisation that ploughs any surplus funds into its facilities and activities it provides for the local community. The local council though are not having any of this and are threatening to fine the club if it does not conform to its waste removal policy.
I bought my wife a 2nd hand Leopard skin coat. It was spotless.
Sir Lancelot had fought a long and bitter battle and didn’t want to quit when his horse was killed. Despite the thunder, the lightening and the pouring rain he managed to stagger to a nearby farmhouse, where he asked the farmer to lend him a horse so that he could return to battle. “I’m afraid I don’t have a horse.” Said the farmer, “ But I do have a large St Bernard dog you could use.” Sir Lancelot took one look at the huge shaggy dog and then looked at the dark and stormy sky. “Surely,” he said, “You wouldn’t send a knight out on a dog like this.”
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