They Walk Amongst Us. Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot
live forever,
why I would not live forever," --Miss Alabama
in the Miss USA Beauty Contest.
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life," --
Brooke Shields, interview for spokesperson for anti-smoking campaign.
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body," --Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country," --Mayor Marion Barry.
"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it," --A congressional candidate in Texas .
"Half this game is ninety per cent mental." --Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it..." --Al Gore, Vice President
"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?" --Lee Iacocca
"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." --Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.
"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people." -- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.
"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances." --Department of Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina
"Traditionally, most of Australia 's imports come from overseas." --Keppel Enderbery
"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record." -- Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
28th July 1901 Fingerprints were first used for identification. 11.
7. Chris Cornell
Relay for Life Event Gt Harwood Showground The Ribble Valley and White Rose Ladies are holding the Cancer Research UK event Relay for Life, a 24-hour event on 9th July 2011 Why not enter a team and make a difference? For more details contact: Karen Weaving: 07967 815559 Yvonne Cannings, Karen Weaving and Karen Mendoros of RV&WR Ladies Group have just been honoured with the Flame of Hope award in London, as one of the top fund raisers for cancer research. The relay for life event will take their overall total ever closer to the £1m mark. WOW. Pictured above is Sue Ashworth (Right) and part of her Masqueraders team who will be taking part in the lap of honour at the event.
TWO DIFFERENT DOCTORS' OFFICES Two patients limp into two different medical clinics with the same complaint. Both have trouble walking and appear to require a hip replacement. The FIRST patient is examined within the hour, is x-rayed the same day and a time booked for surgery the following week. The SECOND sees his family doctor after waiting 3 weeks for an appointment, then waits 8 weeks to see a specialist, then gets an x-ray, which isn't reviewed for another week and finally has his surgery scheduled for 6 months from then. Why the different treatment for the two patients? The FIRST is a Golden Retriever. The SECOND is a Senior Citizen. Next time take me to a vet!
In The Gym. An older man, not in the best physical condition, asked the Trainer in the gym, "I want to impress that beautiful girl. Which machine should I use?" The trainer replied, " I think your best bet would be the cash machine on the wall outside!"
When does it stop being partly cloudy and start being partly sunny?
which is 1994
20.
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