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askthetherapist Simple Truths Q: A:


Dear Karen Kaye, In all of your years of experience as a therapist, are there any philosophies that you can share that you live by or teach?


Thanks, Michelle


Dear Michelle, What I teach is how I live. There is no big secret or easy way to living simple and happy; however, over the years I have learned some insights from


observing myself and others. I am constantly learning to live by these truths when applicable. Here are a few of my Simple Truths:


1) Everyone has a part of themselves that wants to heal and a part that does not want to heal. Healing is a choice; the path you choose dictates the way you live and your outcomes.


2) Too many people work too hard to change their outside appearance and activities but do not work as hard on the inside. Real change comes from inside.


3) If you go for ‘quick and easy’ fixes, it probably will not have lasting value.


4) A conscious life is sometimes painful, but an unconscious life is even more painful.


5) If one lives unconsciously, they will eventually hit a wall. 6) If you do not know the messages from childhood that you live by, they will get in your way.


7) Perfectionism stops people from trying. 8) Only the lessons that are not learned will become mis- takes.


9) All learning lessons are worth the wait. 10) Changes will happen - avoiding change will cause stress. 11) The people who think they have all the answers need to learn to live in the question.


12) Evaluate yourself and your relationships based on how you (and they) handle the rough times.


THINK BEFORE YOU BUY:


Asking these questions before you buy can help you make a green choice.


1. Is it recycled or made from sustainable materials?


2. Is it resource saving? 3. Is it vintage or pre-owned?


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13) Love and fear cannot co-exist. 14) Self-love is more important than waiting for someone to love you.


15) Self-forgiveness is more important than waiting for some- one else to forgive you.


16) It is hard to forgive yourself or anyone else who is not willing to change.


17) Good relationships do not come naturally - they are learned.


18) All feelings are good when dealt with. 19) Anger occurs when one holds onto disappointment and hurt.


20) We tend to only blame others when our life is not working. 21) People who cannot live peacefully alone, also cannot live peacefully with anyone else.


22) The people in our lives that we like the least mirror some- thing in ourselves that we have not yet healed.


23) Anything and anyone you avoid, owns you. 24) Life, love, forgiveness, and happiness are all a process or journey, not a destination.


25) Some simple truths are not so simple. Michelle, I hope this helps.


Many thanks, Karen Kaye, L.M.H.C. Karen Kaye has been in private practice for 27 years. If


you would like to speak with her about this or another topic, call 954.384.1217. See ad page 56.


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