the romantic relationship process. This is because we have subconsciously or even consciously created a set of standards for this person to follow based on our story/ past, our ideal, and ultimately our lie about the person we’ve chosen. Oddly enough, a love story relation- ship like this can last a lifetime, a day or night time or somewhere in between. Our conventional/customary thought process accepts and supports this style of “love” relationship through multiple on- line dating sites, coupled with a climbing divorce rate, as we change in and out of relationships like costumes in a play. Aspects of “conventional” are defined as “artificial” and “stereotype”, which engenders us to live unnaturally and continue unhealthy cycles. Conflict and contradiction plague this model of relat- ing due to the urgency we feel in “being with someone”. How can we improve our ability to relate? Let’s try friendship. Friendship develops when we have
a natural affinity for someone. It mani- fests from an innate sense of knowing, likeness, and trust, exclusive of sexual or family bonds; it is foundational in truly bonding with another. We do this as very young children, energetically bonding with others, absent of superficial mo- tives. But as we grow older, the pressures of our environment (our home and peers) begin to taint and affect our innocence in connecting, and our ego drive of survival and safety replaces our natural curiosity (innocence). We then create as- sociations based on how others can meet our needs, reinforce our addictive pat- terns, and “co-sign our bullshit”, instead of simply setting out to discover “who is this person?”, and better yet, “who am I when I am with this person?” Acquaintances and networks more
accurately fit into a category of what others can do for us, and are not to be confused with friendship. There is an emotional bond in friendship that acquaintances lack. Acquaintances are much more functional in our life, usually linked to abilities and specialties we haven’t cultivated in this life (like doc- tors, lawyers, handy people, etc.). We loosely use the term “friend” in associ- ating with others, when acquaintance is much more relevant. It is less likely that we have 150+ “friends” on social network sites; really, we have about four
(4), and that’s really good! There are those of us who have lots of friends, and those of us who have none. What defines our ability to be a friend is emotional availability, commit- ment, and an understanding and accep- tance of our emotional body that opens us to others. Trust is perhaps the main component of friendship. If that is dam- aged, most friendships suffer. But trust is not encompassed in our friends, but solely within our self. We must be will- ing to share our true nature with others and risk the vulnerability of bonding in order to feel, deal, and heal our emo- tional, mental, and spiritual bodies. This applies to all genders.
In the minds of most men and
women exists a perception that the opposite sex cannot be friends due to heterosexual attraction that seems to per- vade platonic relating. Platonic relating is that of a spiritual nature. It is seeing the spiritual and ideal beauty of another transcending beyond the physical. It is true love. So why wouldn’t we strive for platonic love? Because we’re attached to getting our needs met and through sat- isfying our desires. This outward striving
depletes our inner reservoir of peace. To truly move into new realms of relating, we must be willing to explore our inner workings (how we feel) and identify the current patterns of our en- gagement with others. Through emo- tional awareness, we will understand our feelings and identify what drives our decisions. From there we can make healthier choices and new friends to sup- port our growth. Old friends and/or the opposite sex can join us in our ascent towards higher consciousness. The adventure to bond and under- stand others only manifests through our own journey in discovering who we are. As we travel the vast landscape of our in- ner self, we will invite others to show us who we are. Whether an “ally” or “ene- my”, we’ll discover that our relationships are our creations which can be redefined at any moment – and that moment is just a conscious choice away.
For more information or to dis- cuss this topic one-on-one, contact Julia George of Aquarian Age at 561.750.9292 or email aquarianagegal-
lery@bellsouth.net.
July 2011 35
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