A-LISTS living positive by paul montero
IF YOU CRY WOLF ONE MORE TIME, I’LL…
Maybe I’m jaded…or maybe the no-nonsense realist in me doesn’t appreciate being taken for an emotional ride, and then being told that it was a mistake to ever have gotten my hopes up in the first place. The bottom line is that I’m tired of hearing conjectural hype being branded as “a revolutionary breakthrough” in HIV research or reading about a “radical new direction” that scientists are taking…only to find out that “this research is highly experimental and its validity hotly debated. It shouldn’t be seen as a cure.” Well…thanks for the memo! Note to self: hope is silly and only belongs in fantasies where news and health reports are helpful and relevant! It happens every month or so. Insatiable streaks of curiosity nudge me to check in on
the latest word at the poz frontline. Sometimes my boyfriend or his diligent mother will eagerly fill me in on an encouraging tidbit of news that washed onto the shore of their computer screens.
Like people who talk during movies…or even the aging sports commentator whose opinions would mean more if he could still accomplish the feats in which he’s pointing out all the flaws…the people who alert us to new developments in HIV medicine really do mean well. Their two cents are provided in the spirit of helping out. Taking a step back from my frustration, it’s hard not to be grateful for the instant taps of information in our lives, no matter how badly they need filtering. I realize that I’m immeasurably for- tunate to even live in a country that gives a rat’s ass and devotes so much enthusiasm to reporting the latest morsels of hope. Heck, I’m lucky to live in a place that has luxuries like running water! Maybe I am indeed jaded. But as I scoff prematurely at the latest news from Duarte,
CA about a promising series of tests being done by Dr. John Rossi on “humanized” mice that successfully stopped the spread of HIV in their blood, I’m inclined to ask, “what if?”
“Whatever the new decade holds for us, it would be a good idea to remember that only 20 years ago, people were thanking their respective deities for being given doses of azidothymidine that could take down a tyrannosaur.”
I know that any news raises the public’s spirit better than no news at all. And I’m well
aware that thousands of people in the medical field have devoted their lives to the development of a
cure...and they have a right to broadcast their findings, but come on. Nothing kills hope like reading about a new discovery that will change the face of medi- cine and then ending the article with, “…oh, and by the way, this wonderful treatment probably won’t work on YOU. And even if it did, it’s either too expensive, impractical or controversial to be made available in the U.S. for at least another 10 years. Good luck, though! Hope you survive ‘til then!” Shouldn’t there be a filter system of some sort? An information receptacle for the
stream of hyper-hopeful hearsay…and then a completely separate folder for the genuine, “we REALLY mean it this time, this is something you will TRULY benefit from hearing!”-type of info? I’m really happy for that patient in Germany whose marrow was transplanted a little while ago, but it’s simply not a true cure unless it works for every- body! Even those of us who don’t have ga-jillions of Euros to spend. I guess I should be more appreciative, though.
Years from now, will I look back on this crumb of info as the first clue in a massive historic
step toward a cure? My inner realist tells me not to be such an optimistic, sentimental schmuck. My inner realist is also a bitter 60-something alkie trapped in my 20-something body. Whatever the new decade holds for us, it would be a good idea to remember that only 20 years ago, people were thanking their respective deities for being given doses of azidothymidine that could take down a tyrannosaur. Little did they know that the remainder of that decade would grant everyone a better understanding of the epidemic that frightened them so. Who’s to say we aren’t now at a similar threshold of knowledge? Maybe it’s not the massive feed of information that needs editing, but our sight and
hearing that needs honing. It doesn’t require a lot of effort to learn to take what we hear and read with a grain of salt. What does call for great struggle and sacrifice is the huge job of finding a cure. Needless to say, the pressure is on. Let’s give the jaded bit a rest, shall we? Stay positive.
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RAGE monthly | FEBRUARY 2011
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