What do you mean you’ve dropped the soap ?
If you can’t say anything nice. Cheers.
Cliff: Guess what followed me home today ? Carla: A trail of slime ?
Diane: He’s trying to make a mountain out of a molehill. Carla: Yes he wants you to wear a padded bra.
Norm: I want something light and cold. Carla: Sorry, it’s Diane’s day off.
George Wendt
Woody: Can I pour you a beer Mr Peterson ? Norm: A little early, isn’t it Woody. Woody: For a beer ? Norm: No, for stupid questions.
Scottish - English Translation This section can be cut out and kept in a pocket, purse or wallet ready for instant translation at Hogmanay. •Auld - Old •Aye - Yes •Bahooky - Backside, bum •Bairn - Baby •Ben - Mountain •Blether - Talkative, to have a chat. •Bonnie - Beautiful •Bowfing - Smelly, horrible •Braw - Good, or brilliant •Crabbit - Bad tempered •Cry - Call, as in what do you call him? •Dae - Do •Dinnae - Don't •Drookit - Soaking wet •Dug - Dog •Dunderheid, Eejit, Galoot, Numptie - All mean idiot •Dunt - Bump •Frae - From •Gallus - Bravado, over-confident •Gaunnae - Going to •Geggie - Mouth, as in "shut your geggie" •Glaikit - Stupid, slow on the uptake •Goonie - Nightgown •Greet - Cry •Hame - Home •Haud - Hold •Haver - Talk rubbish •Hoachin' - Very busy •Honkin', Hummin', Howlin' - Bad smell •Hoose-House •Keek-A little look •Ken-Know •Lum-Chimney •Mair - More •Merrit - Married •Mockit, Manky, Mingin', Boggin' - All mean dirty •Naw - No •Neep, Tumshie - Turnip •Noo - Now •Peely Wally - Pale •Poke-(to poke-to prod-a paper bag) •Reek-Smell, emitsmoke •Riddy-redface, embarassed •Screwball-Unhinged, mad •Scunnered-Bored, fed up •Shoogle - Shake •Skelp - Slap •Skoosh-Lemonade (or fizzy drink) •Sleekit - Sly •Stookie - Plaster cast (for a broken bone) •Stour - Dust •Tattie-Potato •Thon-That •Wean - Child •Whit - What •Willnae - Will not •Windae - Window •Wummin - Women •Ye - You •Yer - Your •Yin - One
Crispy Turkey /Chicken A Simple, tasty recipe to use up the left over Turkey /Chicken 1lb cooked turkey /chicken 4 celery sticks 5 fl oz mayonnaise 1 finely chopped onion 1 oz flaked almonds 1 small tub of crème fraiche 1 small tin of sweet corn 2 oz grated cheese 2 oz crushed crisps Mix together all the ingredients except the cheese and crisps Put in a casserole dish and top with cheese and crushed crisps. Bake in moderate oven for 30 minutes.
If you can’t say anything nice. The Golden Girls.
Rose: Can I ask a stupid question ? Dorothy: Like no one else.
Dorothy: I would kill Gloria if she ever wrote about my sexual escapades. Sophia: You’d kill your sister over a pamphlet ?!
Dorothy; Why can’t you sleep on the couch and give Clayton and Doug your room ? Blanche: Are you crazy ? What would the neighbours think if they see two men in my bedroom ? Sophia: They’ll think it’s Tuesday.
Dorothy: (to Blanche) How long did you wait to have sex after George died ? Sophia: Till the Paramedics arrived.
11. The Vicar of Dibley
25.
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