NOVEMBER 2010
HOLIDAY MANNERS FOR KIDS AND TEENS KIDZone
are a reflection of themselves…and their parents or guardians, is how we manage civility in a sometimes restless world. I think there was a time….long long
ago….when one heard only about chil- dren with “bad manners and deplorable behavior”. That is because most children behaved well…or else! I find that in to- day’s times, people are almost surprised when they see a child with excellent table manners in a restaurant, or a teen that gives you a firm handshake and makes eye contact with you while expressing his pleasure with meeting you. A rarity in- deed.
By Jonnie Fox Flanagan I LOVE the holidays. I love decorat-
ing, cooking, baking, enjoying a beautiful fire on a rainy evening, and the smell of cinnamon, ginger, and nutmeg through- out the house. Whether you are sharing Thanksgiving dinner in your home or elsewhere, hosting a glitzy cocktail par- ty for Christmas, or just relaxing in the warmth and blessings of your home, your children will most likely be taking part in one or more of these events and past times. It is important to begin instilling the
value of good manners and proper eti- quette at an early age so that each passing year, not only are you proud to have your children with you on these occasions, but you will never tire of hearing the compli- ments and kudos you receive about your child’s “good manners”. Teaching chil- dren on a daily basis that their manners
It is truly just a matter of repetition and frequency.
Children as young as four and five
years old are very capable of setting a proper table, using their utensils with dex- terity, chewing with their mouth closed, keeping their elbows off the table, plac- ing their napkins in their laps, and even raising their glass of juice or water to toast their wonderful parents. It is truly just a matter of repetition and frequency. Much like advertising, the more you see and hear something, the more ingrained it becomes…and certainly, the more you practice anything, the better you are at the performance. Dining and social graces are certainly
a learned behavior, but also a performance of sorts and I am confident that most chil- dren “love to perform” if given the stage. With the holidays approaching, you will
KIDZone
want to get a head start on preparing your child for what is expected of him or her during these special occasions. If the holiday event will be in your
home, involve the children in setting the table, putting out decorations, making a place setting craft such as a glittered mini pine-cone with name tag attached by thread for the Christmas table. Have a practice session prior to the big day over an evening dinner by going over some of the most basic table manners, as men- tioned above. Holding one’s knife and fork properly for the younger children might seem impossible at first, but if you keep changing the position of the hands and telling them to hold it more “like you hold a pencil”, they will develop the proper American style of dining and gain confidence in their abilities. There is no reason a child over the age of three should be holding his or her fork like cave man’s club and it is much easier to break that habit sooner rather than later. Should your holiday travels take
you to the comfortable and casual home of Grandma or the elegant and impec- cable home of your boss, client or dear friend, remind your children to take their manners on the road. Discuss with them ahead of time that if they don’t like cer- tain foods that are offered, it is impolite to express this sentiment to the host and that a simple “no thank you” when offered, is sufficient. The easiest and best way for your
children (all ages) to impress your guests or hosts is to remind them to use the “Magic Words” that help us all get along with graciousness and civility. They are: Please, Thank you, May I, Excuse me, and I’m sorry. These are simple words and phrases that can never be too overused. Jonnie Fox Flanagan is the Founder
and Director of The Magnolia School of Etiquette in Temecula. For more informa- tion call 619-977-9181 or e-mail to info@
magnoliaetiquette.co or visit them on the web at
magnoliaetiquette.com for upcom- ing events and seminars.
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