RESOURCES horoscopesby vera divine VIRGO
August 24 – September 23 Hey girl, how you been lately? I know you haven’t had much success or support lately, but that’s no reason to run away! If you don’t feel like your measuring up, maybe you’re using an incompatible gauge to do the measuring! You wouldn’t measure your daily vodka intake with a ruler, would you? Well maybe you could…if you were a genius like me who had found a way to freeze vodka into popsicles! Anyway, turn your seeming misfortune into a celebration of self. At all times, carry with you a symbol of yourself—something that only you will understand. When times get tough, hold it in your hand and find that amazing strength that you know is there, inside you. Also, let bright yellow represent you to others in some way. It’s not only a memorable attention-getter, but it recalls sunlight and illumination…but it also clashes with skin tones…so try not to design your wardrobe around it!
LIBRA September 24 – October 23 Do you feel that? It’s a hunger pang—hunger for
fame, fortune and Fendi!!! Okay, maybe it’s just a slight grumble for appreciation, a 50-cent raise and some new socks. But hey! It’s the kind of need that can fuel you to take what you want and do it in style! But don’t wait too long to quench your need! Grab a distinctive accessory that accentuates your eyes. NOT colored contacts or even glasses…unless it’s a stylish vintage pair worn over your head to keep your hair in place. You’ll notice immediately the attention they call to the hunger in the gateways to your soul.
SCORPIO October 24 – November 22 They say the seasons are late to start these days be- cause the world is coming to an end. If that’s the case, I say we grab the tequila and celebrate the extra innings of summer ‘til the four horsemen of the apocalypse dismount for a turn on the stripper pole at the Brass Rail! But in all probability, the coming times are sure to disappoint! The moral: don’t believe everything you hear—especially when it comes to “cautionary tales” that attach shame to everything fun that we do. Walk with noticeably extra swagger this month. Strangers will be transfixed and wonder what your secret for happiness is.
SAGITTARIUS November 23 – December 22 Wow, you’re holding up pretty well! It must be your
natural optimism—and a few unfair advantages like ge- netics and nip/tucks—that keep you so well preserved! Oh I’m kidding because I’m jealous! The truth is that you are the first to adopt new changes and fresh ideas. That’s what gives you that attractive spark. You have the opportunity to be the admirable leader this month, and you’ll be expected to present your usual model charac- teristics. So look for new concepts and adopt away! Just take it easy on the glitz and glam. All you need is you… and that extra layer of foundation just isn’t very subtle.
CAPRICORN December 23 – January 20 It’s hard to classify risk as universally good or bad. Some
risks seem like great fun at the start, only to leave you with anxiety afterward—like taking a “sexy stroll” without a “latex raincoat”—while others surprise you with an un- expected reward, like being asked on a date by that cute cop who just wrote you a speeding ticket! Taking risks are an unavoidable part of life, so we can either stress about making the wrong ones, or make a well-planned attempt to tip the scales in our favor and enjoy the payoff! Now experiment with a splash of rouge somewhere on your outfit today.
AQUARIUS January 21 – February 19 Don’t you worry ‘bout a ting. ‘Coz ev’ry little ting’s gonna
be alright. Seriously, waterboy. This phrase isn’t just the anthem to stress relief and soon-to-be-legal substances, it’s a good credo by which to live in this schedule-bound world of ours. There will always be another window period for success if you miss one. You’re sharp enough to detect new challenges and get the most out of them. But most importantly, you know when to put down that pail of water you’re always bearing and enjoy a cup or two on your own—something you wouldn’t normally toast to. Like tequila!
PISCES February 20 – March 20 Everyone may see you as the good little fish who
always followed the rules, but this month will be a great time for you to revel in your rebel, so to speak. There’s a wild streak in you. I can smell it! It took you a while to find it and you’re still not sure to whom you can expose yourself, but your time to bare it all is coming! And what better way to bare it all than with Spanx!?
ARIES March 21 – April 20 It’s true, not everyone “gets” you. Some are even op- posed to your entire manner of thinking. But it’s really only a matter of getting under your eccentric veneer. So
who’s going to make the first move? I know it’s not in your character to volunteer any vulnerability on your part, but in this case it is a major step in staking greater claims in your achievement-driven life. Expose yourself in a cute, memorable way by hitting a karaoke bar and singing something COMPLETELY out of character.
TAURUS April 21 – May 21 Having trouble conforming to the world around you?
You’re not alone! Your social life has been suffering and you’re not as good-natured as you once were, but this is the time when you can see the truest parts of yourself. No distractions, no pretense, just you and your “get it done” attitude. It feels like you’ve been doing the same old dance forever, but this chapter of your overbooked life is almost coming to a close. Soon, you’ll be marveling at the fact that you endured so much and now have smooth sail- ing ahead. Speaking of which, take a few hours to enjoy the sea. You’ll find a surprise message that has been waiting for you.
GEMINI May 22 – June 21 Take the back seat for a while, Gemini! Too much time
in the sun makes Jack a wrinkly boy! Take time away from your usual place on top if things and let yourself escape to that place where you have no responsibilities to anyone but yourself. Selfish? Maybe…but necessary to preserve your sanity! Self indulgence can be a fashionable thing if you know where to go. Buy yourself an aqua-blue top with a soft, cozy texture. It will remind you of that sanctu- ary you thought you almost forgot.
CANCER June 22 – July 23 Beware, you’re about to hear one of the scariest words
known to our kind: milestones. I know what you’re thinking. Could’a, would’a, should’a. But there’s no room in your life for regret! But there’s plenty of room for perspective—that invisible life saver I’m always yappin’ about. You’ve got to realize that every day you endure the rat race, you’re building up toward your next milestone! Don’t compare your worldly achievements to those of anyone else! You’ve got things going for you that most people will never even recognize they need to improve! You’re the master of emotional complexity. Use this on your next project and reward yourself with a ceremonial party for one and don’t skimp on the cake! Chocolate icing will work best.
LEO July 24 – August 23 Reflection may not be your favorite activity, but I hope
you realize the good it can do you. Even while you’d much rather be active and use your crammed schedule to let things blow over, ask yourself how often that works these days. Losing yourself in something else won’t evade any- thing. Introspection is the groundwork. Once you’ve got a hold on that, it’s time to awaken your inner lion and claim your pride. Posture is especially important right now, so straighten up!
...in a manner of speaking.
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RAGE monthly | SEPTEMBER 2010
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