RESOURCES horoscopesby vera divine
LEO
July 24 – August 23 A dear, departed friend once sang, “I’m starting with the man in the mirror.” No, he wasn’t about to choose his first flashing victim. He was talking about change and the way it needs to begin from within. Speaking of change, have you seen/heard/smelled yourself lately? Seriously…for whom do you think you’re posing? When was the last time you REALLY felt like yourself? I mean without everyone’s unrelenting pressure on you to be someone else? Here’s a good way to gauge it. If all of your Facebook pictures look as poseur-ific as Mr. J.C. Chasez’s here, it’s high time for you to silence life’s demanding voices and reconnect with your true self using my cure-all centering regimen: spend a few hours in nude seclusion, soaking in a tub of diamonds and Champagne. A bubble bath works too.
VIRGO August 24 – September 23 Career, friendship, travel, and love. Do they ever get
along? This month might be the time to find out! Even if your last holiday was when yellow polka-dot bikinis were still forgivable at the beach, don’t worry. Just jump in! Vacationing is one of those things you never forget how to do. And you might be able to go alone, if you’re lucky! I know, eeek. Alone might seem like a sad way to travel, but believe me. Not worrying about where everybody else wants to relax and party IS a relaxing party in itself. Besides, you’ll have your room to yourself! *wink!* Make like Gloria Estefan and turn that beat around! Or maybe she said, “Turn that meat, it’s brown!”
LIBRA September 24 – October 23 Hold on to your buns, little Libra. You’re in for the ride
or your…season. Okay, so things aren’t as exciting as you’d like them to be for you right now. So what? Did the endless pride parties last month teach us nothing? You should know by now that life can be as wonderfully random as you want it to be. You want change? Go pan- handle! Just kidding! But you don’t need to wait for the universe to bring you change. You make change happen for yourself! Look at Carrie Fisher! You think she was as happy as she is now? Put your hair in buns, allow yourself to get groped by Harrison Ford and let me know what YOU think!
SCORPIO October 24 – November 22 Oooh, look at you! You have a very different, and in
many ways better, outlook than many of the signs. I’m not saying you’re necessarily better, though you will probably read it that way. I’m just saying you’re ahead of the game…for now. Don’t get too cocky. There are limits
74 RAGE monthly | AUGUST 2010
to what you can attain. Bill Gates knows what I’m talking about. His fortunes have fluctuated more often than my self-respect during pride!
SAGITTARIUS November 23 – December 22 Look forward to some fabulous changes to your
finances. Not necessarily an increase, but more of a stretch as to what you can get with what you have. You’ll be able to make ends meet and maybe enjoy a luxury or two…like a full tank of gas for once this millennium! Milla Jovovich knows how this feels, having made the transition from starved model to semi-starved actress.
CAPRICORN December 23 – January 20 Strong bond with friends, check. Renewed sense
of worth, check! Decent suntan lotion? This has all the makings of a memorable month for you, Capricorn! The eclipses are back, but that doesn’t mean your tan will be affected. The absence of light can be a good thing. It can be a sanctuary for you and those close to you to rest and mend. And if you’re Val Kilmer, I’d stay out of the sun until you get some serious SPF!
AQUARIUS January 21 – February 19 From this month forward, no more shame! I mean it,
Aquaman! Ever hear the phrase, “Don’t beat yourself up?” I’m pretty sure they coined it for you! Honestly, what good could possibly come of you absorbing every ounce of blame that comes your way? Sometimes there’s nothing you can do about a situation until it blows over by itself. For the time being, just deal with the emotions that you’re due, not the ones you mount onto yourself. Denise Rich- ards didn’t get her reality show by throwing herself into a pit. But I do hear it started with a pity party!
PISCES February 20 – March 20 Every once in a while the stars align perfectly in every
way, and especially in regard to romance. That is precisely what is happening…to someone else! Hey, don’t worry Pisces. Your time to shine will come. But it probably won’t be in the way you hope or expect. The universe wants to reward you on a major scale; all you need to do is be open to receiving it. Keep your mind open and remember that Ron Howard is best known for his work off-camera.
ARIES March 21 – April 20 This will be a major month of the year for you to prove
some things to yourself that you’ve been worrying about. The major topic will have to do with dramatic shifts in your career and another will clarify to you how people see and think of you. Don’t fret, this is a good thing. You certainly want to know if people compare you to the likes of David Letterman, right?
TAURUS April 21 – May 21 Get ready to get much more use out of your suitcase
than you have in a long, long time! Nearly everything around you will be coaxing you to explore the world outside safety bubble. But don’t let it stop there! This new trend could have long-range effects in the years to come. It’s up to you if these effects are positive, teasing, exciting and broadening. If you’ve ever seen Tammy Wynette’s hairdos, you KNOW she teased and broadened her hair until she could barely walk upright!
GEMINI May 22 – June 21 Your financial picture is changing this month, and depending on how careful you are, it might not be a very pretty one. But thanks to some extra guidance you’ll re- ceive this month, we might be able to keep you afloat. It’s been a long time since you’ve seen such a dramatic em- phasis on money matters. That’s no reason to cause extra stress, just be flexible with ideas you’re given and don’t be afraid to try unexpected, borderline crazy things. They can really give you an edge. Prince’s wardrobe should be taken as a sign of that.
CANCER June 22 – July 23 You never thought this would be you, did you? Not
since the beginning of the millennium have you worried and sacrificed so much. When you ask yourself whether this is the way it has to be in order to continue, it’s because you really believe it might be. The truth is, it’s a phase. Just like every dry spell, season of plenty and time of rest. Things like this come in waves. The eclipses, income, men…they’re all slaves to this rule. But as Tobey MaGuire realized by the third Spidey movie, each wave can only be ridden for so long!
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