Handling Conflict Part 2: Will prevention always be better than cure?
In Part 1 of this series Performance Consultant and Conference Speaker, Frank Newberry, explored how the uncomfortable experience of conflict in the workplace can bring positive outcomes. In Part 2, Frank looks more closely at how conflict develops and how we can ‘nip it in the bud’, outlines the five ways people deal with conflict situations and which of these turfcare professionals prefer to use, defines the four separate phases of conflict at work and wonders if it might not be best to just let conflict happen sometimes
We explored, in Part 1, how conflict at work can often be linked to people’s expectations not being met. For example, people might get frustrated or fearful when they are not getting what they want - when they want it. The same can happen when they see others not pulling their weight in the work team.
How do turfcare professionals handle conflict?
I have, on a regular basis over the past 20 years, been able to test the turfcare professional’s response to conflict at work. Let’s look first at our options in conflict situations. For this I am grateful to Kenneth W. Thomas and Ralph H. Kilmann whose ideas have helped us to understand how we can handle conflict more effectively.
They identified five modes or ways of responding to conflict situations. The five modes are Compete, Collaborate, Compromise, Avoid and Accommodate.
COMPETE Mode - or WIN/LOSE
During which you go all out to win the conflict knowing that you might lose everything.
How it’s done: You promote only your own cause and only your version of the other person’s cause. You know best.
You threaten the other person directly or issue ultimatums to secure agreements quickly.
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Positive aspects: You stick up for yourself.
Negative aspects: You don’t let others stick up for themselves.
COLLABORATE Mode - or WIN/WIN
During which you go all out for a win-win so that both sides achieve the outcomes they want.
How it’s done: You promote the other person's cause as enthusiastically as your own. You want best outcome. You prefer to treat conflict as a problem to be solved by understanding all sides of the argument.
Positive aspects: You stick up for yourself and let others do the same.
Negative aspects: Others (especially competers) can take advantage.
COMPROMISE Mode - or GIVE TO GET
During which you acknowledge that a win-win might not be possible, so you show a willingness to negotiate.
How it’s done: You promote the idea of negotiating the best outcome. You prefer to demonstrate that regular negotiating is a valid way of dealing with differences. If you do not get what you want the first time, there is always next time.
Positive aspects: You let people negotiate as equals.
Negative aspects: Others (especially competers) can take advantage.
AVOID Mode - or STAY OUT
During which you seek to avoid a conflict by not being available or by denying that there is a conflict.
How it’s done: You promote the notion that there is no conflict. You prefer to build or preserve harmonious working relationships by never getting into conflict, or by never admitting that there is a conflict (even when there is).
Positive aspects: You can delay the conflict until you are ready for it.
Negative aspects: Others can lose respect for this approach, and for you.
ACCOMMODATE Mode - or GIVE IN
During which you seek to evade a conflict by letting the other side win a conflict at work.
How it’s done: You
deliberately or inadvertently give people the impression that you will offer no resistance in any conflict situation at work. Harmony at work is seen as being more important to you than getting your own way.
Positive aspects: You can achieve harmony at work.
Negative aspects: Others may think you do not really care about anything.
Armed with twenty years of research results, I recently asked a group of sixty turfcare professionals to try and guess which of the above modes were most and least preferred by people in the profession.
I had to double check their responses, which showed that a clear majority believed that the COLLABORATE option was the most preferred and AVOID was the least preferred when, in fact, the opposite was true.
We may talk a good game but, when push comes to shove, turfcare professionals prefer to AVOID conflict situations. Cue embarrassed looks in the seminar room on the day. Worse news was to come when ACCOMMODATE proved to be the second highest preference over the years.
Both AVOID and ACCOMMODATE are the pre-eminent choices of turfcare professionals by a considerable margin.
Now, COLLABORATE and COMPETE have often scored highly amongst managers in the profession, but not as high as AVOID and ACCOMMODATE. There will be more about this, and what to do to improve, in Part 3.
A big element of achieving better performance is better understanding and preparation.
It has been observed that conflict in the workplace goes through four distinct phases. Here are the four phases, with some tips, on what might help slow down or eliminate conflict.
Phase 1: Frustration and resentment build up on both sides of the conflict
Phase 1 kicks in when people’s expectations are not being met, and frustration
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