RESOURCES horoscopesby vera divine
TAURUS
April 21 – May 21
Your strong need to brainstorm and visualize is deeper than usual. Follow it! Ideas are flowing with ease so you can’t say you’re uninspired now! Beware of that motormouth of yours, though! You can talk, talk, talk all you want but it doesn’t mean anyone will listen. Don’t worry, the demands on you will begin to loosen but other people may tend to encourage you to act prematurely. Think things through before you jump into something you may not want to commit to in the future. With all the makeup they caked onto Jessica Lange’s face for her role in Grey Gardens, you’d think she’d never want to a film again!
GEMINI May 22 – June 21
May will be a frenzied month for your career. You will
only have a couple weeks to make your mark! After that, your energy will move on to light someone else’s fire. It’ll be easy to get addicted to all the career momentum, but don’t take it for granted. You’ll find it easier to make progress now than at any other time. Give career projects and goals all you’ve got while the sun shines for you. Envi- sion that you’re Stevie Nicks performing on stage—only rethink the wardrobe. Please.
CANCER June 22 – July 23
This month, you can look forward to some help from
Mars in your quest for a better career, now if only that feisty little troll could help out with the laundry, huh? Around the third week of the month, you’ll get your taste of fame. You’ll be unusually assertive and single-minded in your quest to win people’s attention. Just remember that your personal style is what will stay engrained in everyone’s memory. It didn’t take Cyndi Lauper too long to show her true colors!
LEO July 24 – August 23
Aww, no roar for us this month, huh Leo? I know. It’s so
hard for creatures like you to shine when you’re broke. Forget these disappointments! You are a bold, raven- ous beast who can make a party out of a lighter and a bottle of Bacardi 151! Use your instincts and utilize the city’s free resources to make May the party month it was meant to be. Learn from past experiences in your search for professional success and stay out of the muddier waters. You never know what kind of trouble you could get into…well, Martha Stewart knows.
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RAGE monthly | MAY 2010
VIRGO August 24 – September 23
Such expectations! Such disappointment! It will be
okay as long as you realize that most of that anticipation is coming from none other than you! Though you’re re- nowned for pulling off great marvel in a pinch, everyone is well aware that you’re only human and that you too need a vacation from your wizardry once in a while! Take David Copperfield’s example and perform a disappear- ing act for a bit to relax. When you return, your audience will be more appreciative of you than ever before.
LIBRA September 24 – October 23
You know, the term lunatic is based on the traditional
link made in folklore between madness and the phases of the moon. We all know the craziness you can come up with, but don’t fear it! Flaunt it! It’s your driving force! Now is a vibrant time for you. With those around you be- ing so supportive, you should be enthusiastic about the news you receive. By week three, you should be, as Alicia Silverstone once put it, “sublimely happy! Yay, project!”
SCORPIO October 24 – November 22
Girrrrrl! Where have you been? Over the past few
months your career has overpowered every living decision you’ve made and it hasn’t left much room for romance! Don’t let your bed-life die! People around you want to help! Maybe not in bed…but socially! Stay open to any suggestions that are thrown at you—even if they seem outlandish. Have faith in the judgment of those who care for you. Do you think that Linda Evans was always crazy about the idea of getting slapped and being called a bitch on camera? It took true love and support to get her flailing around in a pond for money!
SAGITTARIUS November 23 – December 22
Oh dear. Much like those grown-out roots, your personal life needs serious attention. Outside feedback can bring you to a healthy level of perspective, but only you can sort it all out. Your friends, roommates and fam- ily should stay out of your way while you organize your YOU-time. Be prepared for a potentially hot month. Keep your love antenna up and be on the lookout for the next Benjamin Bratt to sweep you off your feet…tattoos, wife-beater and all.
CAPRICORN December 23 – January 20
What’s this? A special delivery just for you? Well it’s
about time the payback to all your hard work got here! The best part is, no shipping fees! There’s no need to wait for the other stiletto to drop. There’s no catch to this influx of luck. All you need to worry about is how to spend your downtime. A wise goat will know to rest up for the next round of workdays. Maybe take after fellow Cappy Jared Leto and send everyone a box of cupcakes in gratitude?
AQUARIUS January 21 – February 19
Hit the road, Jack. Somewhere out there is the perfect
escape you need. You shouldn’t look for concrete objects, but rather personal mindsets that an unfamiliar setting can put you in. The long road will provide you with perspective and having to ask for directions back to civilization will keep you humble. If you can’t get away at the moment, you know exactly why. The temporary hin- drance will sort itself out by month’s end and you’ll be free to chase your spirit guide. Let’s hope that Tom Selleck’s guide tells him to shave that mustache and keep it off!
PISCES February 20 – March 20
Oh, sweet child of mine, you give love a bad name.
Pour some sugar on me or I’ll rock you like a hurricane! 1980s hair-bands were on to something, you know. Maybe not with hair care or fashion trends, but they sure knew a thing or two about sweltering love affairs. Some say that’s just not what a mature relationship is about. I say keep the faith. Take a chance and prove jaded nay- sayers wrong by indulging in a romantic rollercoaster of passion and wild abandon. At the very least, you will have learned what a week-long relationship feels like! Jon Bon Jovi would be proud!
ARIES March 21 – April 20
The months ahead will start on a very sociable note.
The eerily sudden burst of fun and humor coming out of you will take everyone by surprise. Don’t be insulted, just continue the flood of enthusiasm. They’ll catch on. Outside of work, look forward to delicious romantic distractions, but remember that friends will be most im- portant throughout the month. One friend in particular is likely to go through some major changes in his or her life, and it will be up to you to motivate them through this tricky time. Be a better friend than Vince Vaughn was in Swingers.
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