P ERSP EC TIVE
Most gutting of all is The Ultimate Sanction who,
after years of injury, recovered only to reinvent herself as a cyclist. Not any old cyclist either: she’s got the Lycra, the races, the regime, the team. She’s done it: she’s found another fully satisfying activity. But where is she when I’m struggling to fi x a trip to Lundy? Holidays and even weekends away up the ante: they involve overnight arrangements, they raise the gender issue. I never used to pay it any mind but a couple of things changed. Firstly, I now have a non-climbing boyfriend; Strange Billy’s a musician. If he announced he was going off with one other girl to an isolated spot for an intense piano workshop, let’s face it, I wouldn’t be too chuffed. So how is he going to feel about me heading off to a coastal crag with another bloke?
I am, of course, my own worst enemy. The older I get and the more I see; the more paranoid I get about who belays me. I’ve also, I suspect, subliminally harboured a Disney-like fi xation for The One-And-Only Prince/ess In Shining Armour trad partner and so have declined invitations where I sense a chink of non-perfectness and tended to avoid the boisterous gatherings at sports crags. And thus the pool got smaller and smaller. Moody, opinionated, porcupine-like, scared, myopic and unforgiving, I hazard my character may have played a starring isolationist role. Some days I won’t muster the effort to ask someone if they’re free, lack the courage to send that text. My New Year’s Resolution was to buck up and get out there and sort more climbing. It’s been nice. There’s little momentum as I’m not key to anyone else’s ambitions yet. But I’ve been getting out with half a dozen different people and this has got me back on the rock. And that’s what this is all about: the relationship with the rock. When it’s all going well and you trust your belayer enough to forget about them, then you can switch your attention fully to the various skins of limestone, grit, granite; feel the warmth within; cajole the protection; slip into the bliss of ecstatic exposure; gaze into the savagery and tenderness of the rock face. So then the climbing partner is a facilitator for a more all-encompassing relationship. The climbing partner is the dealer, the priest. It’s not an insignifi cant role.
I haven’t been shopping for a few days. So today’s lunch is a pick-and-mix of leftovers garnered from all corners of the kitchen: A few squares of 85% chocolate; some out-of-date salami and a frozen malt loaf.
We’ll see how we get on.
ROOM TO BREATHE
The perfect hiking pack.
AirZone is a unique suspended mesh back system that offers unparalleled comfort and airflow. It maximises breathability and always remains contoured to your back.
Sarah-Jane is a freelance instructor and BMC member. She is half of an esoteric band called ‘Strange Billy the Saint & Bernadette Pike’ whose debut album is out now.
LOWEALPINE.COM
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