The Lowdown
THE CHARACTER REVEAL
By Jeff Matlow
It was mile 126 of my first Ironman. I was already 11 hours in. I was tired and frustrated and hungry. And then there was my foot. The pain was piercing. Every time my foot hit the ground it was insufferable pain. Searing pain. Tooth-clenching pain. I tried to walk, but that didn’t make it any better. So I hobbled. My shoulders slumped, my spirit whimpered. I suffered.
As I walked in quasi-defeat, a person passed me as if he were scampering. He looked fresh and nimble. I looked up briefly as he passed, but I quickly dropped my head in shame. And out of the corner of my eye I saw his feet. His foot. He only had one. One leg and one prosthetic. One foot. And he passed me like I was standing still.
“He’s got one leg and he has the will to continue moving forward,” I told myself. “I have two legs, what the heck am I doing?” I made a conscious, split-second decision to dig deeper than I ever have before and to find the hero in me. I stopped walking and began jogging. As the pain seared through my body, instead of letting it weaken me, I dug in deeper. And I picked up the pace. As the pain and hunger and tiredness enveloped me, instead of suffering, I smiled. And I picked up the pace even more. With each step forward, my soul got lifted. With each step I felt stronger. I moved faster. My head was held high, my eyes were focused. I moved forward with confidence and grace. And somewhere along the way the wince on my face turned to a smile that grew wider until I began laughing. I actually laughed. Out loud. I laughed in the face of pain and fear. I laughed in the face of failure. And I rode that smile and laughter all the way to the finish.
Triathlon isn’t easy. It’s not meant to be. In fact, that’s the entire point of it — to challenge you and bring you out of your comfort zone. When that happens, there will be pain. But pain isn’t the key issue here. It’s about suffering. You will succeed the moment you realize that pain is inevitable but suffering is optional.
When there is pain — emotional or physical — and when that pain is all encompassing, these are the moments that our true character is revealed. And therein lies the truth of triathlon; it peels back the layers of your character and shows you exactly who you are when times get tough. You see, it’s a misconception that triathlon defines you. It doesn’t. There is no magical multisport elixir that will miraculously transform you from Clark Kent to Superman. Triathlon doesn’t change who you are, it does not make you a better person. Triathlon simply is a vehicle that reveals your true self.
Most of us don’t confront life and death situations as we slouch behind our desks for hours on end. We don’t get challenged by survival or defeat while typing on our computers. Suffering and pain do not have a place in the Friday morning bagels around the watercooler. True character is revealed when the distractions of daily life don’t have a chance to stand in its way.
Though you can have all your Dudley Do-Right daydreams of how you think you will react when enveloped by pressure, or how you wish you’d act in times of strain, the truth is that you will never know your true character until you actually get there. You must first face your demons. And that’s the great thing about triathlon; it is the intersection of all your dreams and all your fears. Triathlon gives us the opportunity to get a clear insight into our own true character. It lets us look in the mirror, not knowing if the return gaze will be a demon or an angel, and gives us the strength to fight, no matter the obstacle, no matter the fear, until we emerge victorious and can race down our dreams again another day.
Jeff Matlow will finish, no matter what it takes.
JeffRuns@imATHLETE.com or
www.twitter.com/IAmAthlete
80 USA TRIATHLON SPRING 2014
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