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Restaurant Review


for yourself and a big one for the man, and then they wonder why we keep eating their food off their plate. Te third myth is that when a man thinks he has ‘clocked’ a woman in a club and then comes and approaches her – look, we done ‘clocked’ you; we are just making you feel that you are the one approaching us. We’ve seen you – the reason you can approach us, is because we are letting you!


What are the three most misunderstood things about men that women don’t understand? Eddie: Sometimes we are just having a conversation, we are not trying to hit on you – don’t get it twisted. You know how you women are, you come out with, I ain’t got no time for no waste man. You are wasting your time thinking that – you are the waste girl. Two, men can be emo- tional, if a man cries, it’s not “oh my gosh” – we were given tears too. When God was handing out tears he gave us some as well. So when I cry, I cry for a reason, I’m not crying because I want to get your atten- tion. Tirdly, football is important – don’t sit there when we get home and say, can we watch TV please, football is TV, it’s very important!


If you could influence the world through food what would you change? Eddie: When I was young I used to suck my thumb to a stupid age and my grand- dad in Congo put pepper on my thumb – even today I look at my thumb and cry “pepe”, so I would do the same to others and I would use the power of pepper! I would feed some of these politicians with hot pepper – “pepe” – some Jollof rice with some hot peppers, it will confuse them into thinking they should just stay in power for four years, and then move on. Te second, when kids go to school – I’ll put pepper in the chocolate custard, so when it’s home- time, it will take them 15 minutes to get home. You get home at 3.45 not six o’clock – discipline! Tird, I would put pepper in the vending machines so I can make people appreciate other people’s cultures. Jocelyn: I would also use pepper but I would use scotch bonnet peppers. If any- one became racist or had racist thoughts, then the symptoms and effects of eating 50 scotch bonnets will come upon them, they would start to sweat, their tongue would be on fire, you would know who is the most racist person walking on the street, the clothes must come off and they’ll be running to the toilet!! I would put pepper in food like E’s so when kids are being


94 | NEW AFRICAN WOMAN | AUTUMN 2011


rude, they become stunned. I would also use pepper so the people who make the mirrors in clothes shops make them cor- rectly – too many times I have gone home and I look different from what I looked like using the mirrors in the shops. I hate that!


How long does it take you to get ready for a date? Eddie: Ages, because I would line up a couple of shirts and different jeans and think what works best. I’m from Congo, we love clothes. But now that I am in a steady relationship it actually takes me longer, because I would say babe, what do you think. She would say, “Eddie you’re so Congolese, what have I told you about mixing patterns with patterns..”. You know the rule, if the jean has patterns then the shirt can’t have patterns. Jocelyn: Te best outfits I have worn for any kind of date is when I have planned it well in advance. And you need to go shopping, I can’t wear what I already have, I have to wear something new so I


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feel extra special. Ten it’s about putting things together, changing things up, then you got to have the fashion show with your friends and drink some wine, then you pretend how you would walk into the room. You also have to do that huge thing of making a huge effort, but mak- ing it look as though you did not really make an effort. Maybe bringing another outfit in a bag, because I might change my mind on the way – that’s what the big bags are all about. Even put some new hair in the bag!! You have to really plan, I need to know I am wearing the best outfit I could have possibly worn, that makes me feel really good. You can’t forget the underwear, must be matching for those ‘just-in-case’ situations.


What was your worst dinner date? Eddie: I don’t know whether it’s the worst


Eddie and Jocelyn with restaurant co-owner Andrew McIntosh


“I love their Rum Punch – it’s the real stuff, the kind you have on holiday.”


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