THE LOWDOWN
MY DIRTY LITTLE SECRE
By Jeff Matlow
I’ve been keeping a secret for a long ti me now, and it’s gnawing at me. I can’t live this lie any longer; I can’t continue with this facade. I need to be honest and let it out:
I am not a triathlete.
There it is. I said it. Are you happy now?
Ok, this is awkward. I know what you’re thinking: “you write for a triathlon magazine, and you’re not a triathlete?! That’s preposterous!”
I know... it’s preposterous to me, too. you see, I’m a runner. I’ve been a runner since I was 10 years old. I love running. Running is my therapy, my church, my meditati on and my religion. Running keeps me sane and friendly and healthy. It is my release and my best friend. Running is me. I am runner.
And, frankly, triathletes are weird.
Unfortunately, I am also a stupid runner, or at least I was in my youth. For years I ignored any signs from my body. Every run was a speed and distance workout. If I felt pain, I’d run harder, longer and faster. Idiotic, I know. But of course, that kind of attitude only leads you down one road: Injury Avenue.
I bought a timeshare on Injury Avenue many years ago. I’d stay there every 2-3 months as I nursed my strained muscles. But somewhere along the line, aft er getting disgruntled from long stretches without exercise, I did what many injured runners do – I started cycling. I didn’t really like biking – I still don’t – but it’s a means to an end. And the end, of course, is me running again.
Fast forward to college and, due to a crazy series of events that are completely irrelevant to this story, I found myself dating a swimmer. So during the cold months of winter, when I was injured from running, and it was too cold to bike, I started to swim, because that’s what injured runners do when they are dating swimmers.
My dislike of riding is only eclipsed by my abhorrence of jumping in a cold pool. But when you’re a runner and you are willing to do whatever it takes to keep running, it sometimes involves cold water and shriveled private parts. Lo and behold, one day I woke up and realized that I was not just a runner, but I had morphed into a runner who happens to bike and swim.
I broke up with my swimming girlfriend in 1991. She had a bit of an elitist attitude, and that started to annoy me. It would’ve annoyed you, too. Shortly after we broke up, she did a triathlon and made it out like she was the best thing since sliced challah. That annoyed me even more. So I found a local triathlon and signed up, if for nothing else than to spite her. yes, apparently I’m that type of guy.
My first triathlon was one of those backward jobbers: run-bike-swim as opposed to swim-bike-run. Since I was a runner, that format seemed to work just fine for me. Lo and behold, without too much effort I found myself cruising along in the lead pack of the run. I didn’t understand why everybody else was running so slowly. It seemed too easy.
I finished the run leg feeling great, hopped on my bike and watched everybody pass me by, which only gave me further proof that I’m a runner. When I finally made it through the bike I jumped into the water and flailed my way through the 400-meter swim, making sure that all the people who didn’t pass me on the bike were able to swim over me before the finish. By the time I hit the finish line, I couldn’t lift my arms, but I made it. I – a runner – completed a triathlon. Even more, I beat my ex-girlfriend’s time, and that was enough to get me excited.
Over the past two decades I’ve continued to bike and swim, mostly because I’ve continued to get regularly injured while running. Somewhere along the way, I realized that my running actually feels better after a bike ride. And for some crazy reason, the more I swim, the stronger I get as a runner. yet even further along the way I realized that if I watch my heart rate, and I set a training program, and I focus on nutrition, that I can actually improve.
Then somehow one day I woke up to realize that all of this stuff has actually become a lifestyle for me. To my dismay, I realized that I was living a triathlon lifestyle. Which is funny, because I’m a runner. I’m not a triathlete
Granted, I have coaches and heart rate monitors and training schedules. I wake up at ungodly hours to swim; I’ve spent entire weekends on the bike. I’ve also continued to do triathlons – many of them. I graduated to olympic, then 70.3, then Ironman and a few other ridiculous distances.
But, you see, I don’t really consider them triathlons as maybe a triathlete would. To me, they are running races that have a crazy swim/ bike warm-up. I run bett er when I warm up.
But now, as I get older and my muscles get more fi nicky, I fi nd that it’s harder to just keep running as frequently as I did in my youth. But holding on to the biking and swimming and this nutty lifestyle has come to make me feel really good about myself. It keeps my body feeling like the runner in my mind. And maybe that’s the beauty of it. The triathlon lifestyle is not just about doing triathlons, it’s about living life. It’s about being healthy and fit and staying active doing the things you love to do. I suppose it just goes to prove that anybody can live a triathlon lifestyle. Even runners. Like me.
Jeff Matlow is still in tri-denial. You can find him over at imATHLETE. jeff
runs@imATHLETE.com – or -
www.twitt
er.com/IAmAthlete
88 USA TRIATHLON FALL 10
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