ReAl lIveS
Diary of an Expat
Relocation,
is when I began to worry. Was ing your love affair with the
he going to sell the house? kitchen the whole time.” He
Was he thinking of mov- was not going to let go of this
ing back in with his parents? plan. “But London is home
Relocation!
What was this plan that he for us. Everyone is here. Plus
was cooking up? I could feel they don’t even have proper
the wheels turning and then pavements in Karachi, I will
“Where did you say we are having enough time to myself’ a month later he made his miss my walks round the
moving to?” I did a double and who was forever trying announcement. block in the crisp, clean fresh
take as my husband breezed to juggle a home and career, “Rehan, I don’t mind air. Not to mention the fact
into the room and dropped so that we could have a lit- Karachi for a holiday, but I that I could get kidnapped,
a bombshell on me, “Karachi tle bit extra to enjoy the finer hardly think that it’s the kind even if I tried to take a stroll.”
– isn’t it exciting!” he flashed a things in life? “Well, it would of place one would move to, I could feel myself launch-
huge grin and then continued, be nice to have a cup of tea I mean they don’t even have ing into a child-like tantrum,
“consider it an adventure.” I without watching the clock,” constant electricity there and visions of me stamping my
couldn’t believe what he was I said to Rehan. “Exactly!” he clean water is such a big issue, feet and screaming ‘No! I don’t
saying. With my eyes wide replied with satisfaction. “So, not to mention the traffic and want to go’ flashed across my
open, mimicking a gold- what do you have in mind and what about the mosquitoes!” mind. Alas! Rehan really had
fish-like expression I said, what is it that you are propos- I couldn’t believe that ‘this’ the knack to sell anything to
“But, why on Earth would ing?” I asked. I was expecting was his solution to our, well, anyone; he slowly began to
we want to move to Karachi him to say something along more like ‘my’ domestic over- convince me and the prospect
of all places - why Karachi?” the lines of ‘get yourself a load. “It’s a great opportunity of moving to Pakistan became
“It’s sunny out there, there cleaner’ or ‘stop working three for us. Sophia and Maryam less and less daunting. Well,
are no crowded tubes, you get days a week, we will manage’. are still young; you need a sort of.
servants and most of all it is But oh no, he didn’t say any- break; I might have an oppor- As the weeks passed and we
cheap,” replied Rehan. I stood thing of the sort. Instead, he tunity to make my mark there made our ‘announcement’ to
there gobsmacked. went into a deep thought and within my profession and we friends and family, we were
Let me take you back to a replied, “I’ll think of some- will get more time to ourselves met with raised eyebrows
month ago when I was doing thing - don’t worry.” And that because you won’t be hav- and confused expressions;
my usual Sunday afternoon they were obviously bewil-
ironing whilst Rehan watched dered by our decision. “Isn’t it
football. It all began with a, a bit unsafe out there?” asked
“You work too hard. It’s not my concerned cousin. “Well,
easy with two children; all how safe is it anywhere in the
that running around you do world? You can get mugged
and look, it’s a Sunday and you on the tube nowadays for
are having to do the ironing. your mobile phone. You could
Look at that huge pile!” No have a paedophile living a
doubt my husband’s observa- few doors away from you…”
tion skills were spot on. “Well, I found myself justifying the
I don’t mind,” I replied, sort move, almost sounding a tad
of baffled by this unusual defensive. And my speech
expression of empathy. “I just was expertly mastered by the
get on with it – really, it’s no time we entered departure
drama.” I said. “Well, I don’t week. I had almost convinced
like it. You should be relaxing; some people that moving to
you work three days a week, Pakistan was ‘the way for-
take care of the children, do ward’ – chanting works! l
the school run, cook, clean
and entertain. I don’t want you
to be worn out by the time you
“I hardly thInk that It’s the kInd of place one
reach thirty.” This prompted
would move to, I mean they don’t even have
me to re-think my lifestyle.
constant electrIcIty there and clean water
Did I honestly want to become
the crazy housewife who
Is such a bIg Issue, not to mentIon the traffIc
always moaned about ‘not
and what about the mosquItoes?!”
IllustratIon GRISCHA HeyeR
www.emel.com | emel magazine 95
Page 1 |
Page 2 |
Page 3 |
Page 4 |
Page 5 |
Page 6 |
Page 7 |
Page 8 |
Page 9 |
Page 10 |
Page 11 |
Page 12 |
Page 13 |
Page 14 |
Page 15 |
Page 16 |
Page 17 |
Page 18 |
Page 19 |
Page 20 |
Page 21 |
Page 22 |
Page 23 |
Page 24 |
Page 25 |
Page 26 |
Page 27 |
Page 28 |
Page 29 |
Page 30 |
Page 31 |
Page 32 |
Page 33 |
Page 34 |
Page 35 |
Page 36 |
Page 37 |
Page 38 |
Page 39 |
Page 40 |
Page 41 |
Page 42 |
Page 43 |
Page 44 |
Page 45 |
Page 46 |
Page 47 |
Page 48 |
Page 49 |
Page 50 |
Page 51 |
Page 52 |
Page 53 |
Page 54 |
Page 55 |
Page 56 |
Page 57 |
Page 58 |
Page 59 |
Page 60 |
Page 61 |
Page 62 |
Page 63 |
Page 64 |
Page 65 |
Page 66 |
Page 67 |
Page 68 |
Page 69 |
Page 70 |
Page 71 |
Page 72 |
Page 73 |
Page 74 |
Page 75 |
Page 76 |
Page 77 |
Page 78 |
Page 79 |
Page 80 |
Page 81 |
Page 82 |
Page 83 |
Page 84 |
Page 85 |
Page 86 |
Page 87 |
Page 88 |
Page 89 |
Page 90 |
Page 91 |
Page 92 |
Page 93 |
Page 94 |
Page 95 |
Page 96 |
Page 97 |
Page 98 |
Page 99 |
Page 100 |
Page 101 |
Page 102 |
Page 103 |
Page 104