Marriage
Against the
Odds
Despite complications on the way,
Rifat and Ahmad recently celebrated
their 33rd wedding anniversary
together and are now looking forward
to what the future holds for them.
I knew very little of Ahmad prior to
him coming over; I was told that he
“Marriage is about coMproMise,
Rifat was a doctor working in Newcastle,
trust and respect. i feel rifat has
his family lived in Pakistan and that
coMproMised a lot and at tiMes
he had lived in Kenya. I myself was
brought up in Kenya so knowing he had lived there
i have taken her for granted.”
was promising. I was desperately hoping he knew
how to speak Swahili. Kenya was a major part of my He also planned our honeymoon to Paris – which
life and I knew I had to marry someone who I could was a big thing in those days! Ahmad seemed
share that with. like a nice guy and as he had spent a lot of time in
It was a close family friend who mentioned Kenya, I felt we shared a special bond and had an
Ahmad to my parents. I didn’t get to meet him understanding.
when he came over for tea, I hadn’t even seen a pic- After our honeymoon, we went to Pakistan for our
ture of him and so my family had to describe him Walima. I had not been to Pakistan for many years
to me. They said he was polite and seemed like a
ABOVE
and meeting his family was a very daunting experi-
nice person.
Rifat and Ahmad on
ence for me. Once we arrived at the airport, we were
My parents approved and the date was set for
their Nikkah in 1977.
greeted by his whole family; it was then that we were
August 1976, however we experienced a few problems
BELOW
informed that Ahmad’s father had died a few days
along the way. Many family members of mine voiced Ahmad and Rifat in earlier. Initially, I was worried that being the ‘out-
their concerns about Ahmad to my parents, suggest-
2009 celebrating their
sider’, his family might feel as though I brought a bad
33rd Anniversary.
ing that he was simply after my British passport. The omen. But thankfully, everyone was perfectly lovely
nine year age gap between us was also off-putting to to me and made me feel at home. I was very lucky to
a lot of my family. My parents thought about all these have such a lovely mother-in-law, who took care of my
aspects and decided to trust their instincts and went every need and was extremely considerate.
ahead with the wedding preparations. Sadly, a month Looking back, I realise that getting married was
before our wedding, my cousin’s husband passed quite a big shock to my system. Up until then I had
away. Naturally, it was a very upsetting time for every- lived with my family and there was always someone
one and so the wedding was moved to November. around to talk to. Moving up to Newcastle I often
Despite the hurdles we had to cross to get there, our found it lonely, while Ahmad was revising for his
wedding day was very nice alhamdullilah. But it did exams or was doing nights at work. Later when his
feel a little strange that my in-laws hadn’t come to the career demanded it, moving to Pakistan and Saudi
wedding as they were in Pakistan. But Ahmad reas- Arabia was also difficult and it took a lot of adjusting
sured me that they’d love me. He even tried to make to. However we did it together and with Allah’s kind-
up for it in his own way; with clothes and jewellery! ness we have had a good marriage.
88 emel magazine |
www.emel.com woRDs huda chaudhry
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