UPFRONT DO THE MATHS: CHEAP GUESTS
We asked crew how to judge whether they have cheapskate charter guests on board
OPEN TO QUESTION
WHAT’S THE STRANGEST THING YOU’VE EXPERIENCED DURING LOCKDOWN?
Ruining bedsheets with fake tan
16% Not tipping 10%
Stealing the toiletries
18%
PEOPLE REQUEST THE STRANGEST THINGS
Can we wait until the sea height reaches 8 feet before we get going, I like when the sea is very rough. We’ll have dinner then too. Soup to start...
DID YOU KNOW? ROMAN ABRAMOVICH HAD A FULL-TIME ‘FRUIT MANAGER’ ON HIS PAYROLL, MAKING SURE THAT EVERY PIECE OF FRUIT WAS WASHED AND DE-STALKED, THEIR SALARY: €30,000 A YEAR.
FOUND IN THE MED MEDITERRANEAN GRENADIER PORTABLE SOUNDS
Meet SoundLink Revolve, one of the best performing portable Bluetooth speakers yet. It delivers true 360° sound for consistent, uniform coverage. Place it in
the centre of the room and everyone gets the same experience. Or set it near a wall and sound will radiate and reflect around the room, immersing you. Taking it outdoors? Great, it’s meant to go where you go. Don’t let its size fool you. This pint-sized enclosure is packed with technology. Dual-passive radiators. An omnidirectional acoustic deflector. Enough to give you real-life goosebumps.
www.bose.com
ISOBEL ODENDAAL, BUSINESS OWNER
Sales of all alcohol and all tobacco products banned in SA for 146 days!! Actually, I could write a book on all the ridiculous rules and laws we had since lockdown started 27 March.... We are still in lockdown, by the way
- apparently longest continuing lockdown in the world.... Some businesses STILL not allowed to open....
Applying a home
hair dye 17% Counterfeit designer clothes 20% ANTON HEHN, CHEF
People wearing masks under their crash hats riding motorcycles. Not sure if this is necessary, but just adds to the steaming effect on the visor and to be honest looks really uncomfortable as it rides up their face to practically blind them.
Shaving their bikini line on deck
19%
KATE BUTLING, CHEF
I saw a totally normal looking man on the middle of severe lockdown, at lunchtime, walking through plaza cort (in Mallorca) completely normally, as if on the way to a meeting, wearing very smart business shoes, a pair of boxer shorts and a smart shirt unbuttoned and a vest. Lockdown crazy.
JOHN RICHARDS, BUSINESS OWNER A drunken bloke sat at a bus stop with his mask round his chin, he proceeded to have a pee while still seated and was getting completely soaked, the disturbing yet funny point when he looked down at himself and a jet of pee hit him in the face, this
occurred 3 times, eventually he put his mask over his nose and mouth and looked again only to be hit in the eye!
Have been found up to 3000m below the surface. Feeding on benthic invertebrates at these depths the grenadier can grow up to over 70cm in length.
At sea, I learned how little a person needs, not how much.
Robin Lee Graham
MICHELLE KEULEMANS, INTERIOR Wearing a mask on a boat for 17hrs while guests don’t wear masks. Then when you get to the sundeck and are out of breath get asked “Are you OK?” “Yes I’m OK, no I don’t have C19, I’ve just climbed 3 flights of stairs after wearing a mask for 15 hrs and I’m out of breath”.
ONBOARD | AUTUMN 2020 | 11
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