In the spirit of CROSSHIRE The only things being delivered by Paddy’s Motorbike’s van are faults and frustration. “WHAT’S A SPANNER?”
It had broken down yet again. In fact, the pride and joy of our delivery fleet has now been renamed Trigger’s Broom, because so many of its parts have been replaced. So far it has had an engine rebuild, another fuel tank, new brake discs and pads, not to mention wiper blades. Anyway, Mr Happy, my current driver, had just informed me our vehicle had gone into limp-home mode once more.
Now, is it just me, or is it that every time the main dealer has one of his technicians look at your vehicle you can expect a ridiculously large bill? Just for a person to sit behind their laptop, which is plugged into your van somewhere under its dashboard. Yes, sitting nice and comfy in the driver's seat, waiting for the computer diagnosis to tell him what's broke. Really, is this what vehicle mechanics is about nowadays? Don’t they know how to use spanners anymore? What next: plugging your iPhone 8 into an electric planer to find out there's a cable fault?
My local garage decided to pass on looking at this problem and referred me to the main agent, who spent no time at all telling me that the latest software to detect the issue had to come all the way from Japan - astonishingly, it was not downloadable from the Internet. After they eventually got this
update, I was told the van needed a new sensor, and then a new diesel filter - which I had asked them to check two weeks earlier when it was in their care, and they had told me it was perfectly fine. And so it went on.
After it was towed into my local garage for the fifth time, I quickly phoned the main agent and suggested they came out and repaired it where it stood, because now it was not driveable at all. Even Mr Happy could guess the fault was fuel starvation. So, with the computer left behind, their very competent breakdown bloke was with the vehicle within the hour. Thirty minutes later, I got a phone call from him asking me to go over to see him, as he believed this time the fault had definitely been found. Lo and behold, the problem was not a diesel filter, nor a sensor, but a piece of card inside the fuel tank that had not been removed when it was fitted, causing a blockage in the intake.
All it took was a guy with a torch to look into the tank - not a laptop, nor some software, but good, old-fashioned, reliable, basic mechanics. It's a trap we all fall into, putting our faith in technology that is designed to aid us, not do the job for us. You still can't beat common sense.
TRYING IT ON
“Do I get it cheaper if I bring it back early?” asked the happy, smiling customer in front of me. The urge to throttle him was overwhelming, but I thought better of it and replied with a calm, “What do you mean? If it’s back in 24 hours we only charge you for a day. A bargain, right? And if it’s 48 hours, we charge you two days.”
“Well, you have to try it on, don't you?” was the reply. So I decided to go along with with this, to see just how far it would get, and I tried to keep a smile so as not to offend. I said to him, “Do you ask in Tesco if you can have a loaf of bread cheaper because you're not going to eat the whole of it, and the same if you only want half a pint of milk? Or what about in a restaurant and you only eat two-thirds of a curry?”
A resounding no was his reply. “Hmm,” was my answer, followed by, “then why are you trying it on here, may I ask?” With a short pause the customer looked vacantly up towards the ceiling, gave the question some thought and then looked straight at me, saying, “I really don't know, but I see your point.” The rest of the hire went without a glitch, but it left me pondering whether the customer really is always right.
56
Page 1 |
Page 2 |
Page 3 |
Page 4 |
Page 5 |
Page 6 |
Page 7 |
Page 8 |
Page 9 |
Page 10 |
Page 11 |
Page 12 |
Page 13 |
Page 14 |
Page 15 |
Page 16 |
Page 17 |
Page 18 |
Page 19 |
Page 20 |
Page 21 |
Page 22 |
Page 23 |
Page 24 |
Page 25 |
Page 26 |
Page 27 |
Page 28 |
Page 29 |
Page 30 |
Page 31 |
Page 32 |
Page 33 |
Page 34 |
Page 35 |
Page 36 |
Page 37 |
Page 38 |
Page 39 |
Page 40 |
Page 41 |
Page 42 |
Page 43 |
Page 44 |
Page 45 |
Page 46 |
Page 47 |
Page 48 |
Page 49 |
Page 50 |
Page 51 |
Page 52 |
Page 53 |
Page 54 |
Page 55 |
Page 56 |
Page 57 |
Page 58 |
Page 59 |
Page 60