T o s m a c k o r n o t t o sm a c k ?


By Vivien Mason


THE royal promo­ tion of “ love and hut’ s ” obviously


makes sense. The Prin c es s of


Wales' declaration that children are not chores and that i f we give them the love they deserve, they would not try so hard to- attract our attention, is sound advice. Sadly, in today’s hec­


tic society, common- sense logic is often forgotten. Love and hugs, com­


bined with discipline, is the way many parents set out intending to raise their children. Ail three can easily-


take a back seat, with e s c a la t in g fam i ly break-ups and social problems, often push­ ing children into a situation which can affect the rest of their lives.


Making time for love


and hugs is priority — whatever the family situation.


But views over disci-


p 1 i n e can d i f f e r enormously.


Parent Effectiveness


Training groups offer one way of talking to others about problems. And, we are told that


one of the items regu­ larly raised, is when or whether to smack. Research has shown


that p a ren ts who smack their children


for misbehaviour, were often treated in a simi­ lar way as youngsters.


Many people claim that smacking is a form


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of abuse which is just as serious as physical assault. Some parents, sadly, go from smack­ ing to beating their children because they know of no other sub­ stitute. They feel that their child needs to be taught a lesson for some such misdemean­ our, using physical methods rather than finding out why lie or she had done whatever it was in the first place.


Parent Effectiveness


is a method of training devised by Dr Thomas Gordon, of America, in 1962. The founder member of Effective­ ness Instructor Train­ ing workshops, he wrote a book on the subject which was •translated into 14 dif­ ferent languages and sold an estima ted 2,000,000 copies.


He believes that the


relationship between parent and child can b e com e s t r a in e d through misunder­ standing or ignorance of the messages that are passing between them. PET. can make par­


ents more aware of the needs of children and teaches them to listen and communicate. I t is a form o f respecting the needs of


‘ C H I L D R E N a re not chores' said the Princess of Wales, who believes in lots of love and hugs


others and judging when to reprimand a child if, indeed, the c h i


l d n e e d s


reprimanding. PET has now been incorporated into effec­ tiveness training ses­ sions locally, organised by Wendy Douglas from Whalley. She held Effective­


ness Training classes at the Transport Studies Centre in Whalley, in April this year through the Lame Duck Enter­


prises, and gave practi­ cal help in dealing with various situations by developing skills in communication, listen­ ing, conflict resolution, problem clarification and problem solving. The skills, she says,


can be used in any situation, such as improving relations between friends and


: learning to work within a group, and not just how to raise the next generation. The courses will be


repeated i f there is enough in t e r e s t . . Wendy Douglas can be c o n t a c t e d on 0204-823183.


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