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from being disappointed. We know this is an almost-impossible task, as life is full of situations over which we have no control. Children will experience disappoint- ment in school, sports and their social lives. You cannot always provide certainty and comfort for your children. The ques- tion is how much to protect them from the disappointments and challenges they will face during the ups and downs of life and situations out of their comfort zone. You


A


s parents, we try our best to meet our children’s needs and prevent them


can try to overindulge, overpraise and do your best to make your kids happy, but you may be cheating them out of the resil- ience and problem-solving skills they will need to function in their everyday lives.


 Dealing with disappointment, emotional hurt and stress from difficult situations is a part of life. Most kids experience varying degrees of setbacks. Some may be minor, such as not being picked for a team, but some are life-changing, such as illness or death. Some kids adapt to disappoint- ment, stress and crisis, and bounce back. They have a quality called resilience. Resilience isn’t about reacting to every setback with acceptance, as your kids may still feel sad, angry or frustrated, but they find ways to move forward, to cope with the situation suc- cessfully and to adapt to the stressor. Resilience is not a trait that people either have or don’t have, but behaviors, thoughts and actions that can be developed and learned. Resilience begins in childhood, and the patterns children and teens develop will continue in how they deal with problems in the future. Some kids are flexible and adapt more easily, which helps them cope with stress and hard- ship. This is part of the natural


abilities and personality traits that help them cope with adverse situations. Resil- ient children have social and emotional competence, which enables them to un- derstand their feelings, be aware of their emotions, solve problems, make good decisions and confront stressful situations with confidence.


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