Please Sir by Peter Dixon


There’s a fight - Sir!! In the cloakrooms … Sir!! And Arnie’s strangled Paul. Smithy’s strangled Watson ’Cos Watson took his ball. Barney’s ripped his shirt … Sir, And Baker sput on Sue. She was only tryin’ to stop them And she’s got it on her shoe … The helper lady went … Sir, She said she couldn’t stay. Jane’s crying in the toilets And the gerbil’s got away …


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Garnett knocked the cage … Sir, The door, it just flipped back, And it ran behind the cupboard And it’s stuck inside a crack. We poked it with a stick … Sir, But the powder paint got spilt. It’s all over the carpet And it’s over Helen’s kilt. I think you ought to come … Sir, Mildred Miles was sick And all the boys are yellin’ And Martin threw a brick. It nearly hit John Bailey. And he’s going to tell his mum, So shall I say you’re comin’ And shall I fetch his mum? Shall we get the cleaners? And can I mop the paint? The new boy’s torn his jacket And he think he’s going to faint … The other teachers said … Sir, That I should come to you ’Cos you’re the Duty Teacher So you’ll know what to do Sir.


Year classroom with details from poem depicted]


[A11.3 illustration of chaotic First


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