to “differentiate” from followers, the more conflict and disharmony the group and its leader will experience.
• Who is triangled with whom? Remember that, in middle school, there were those who together decided to exclude or in- clude others? The technical term for this is “triangling,” and it’s every bit as prevalent among adults as it is among adolescents. When we are “triangled out” by co-work- ers, we feel shunned and isolated—and triangling is a constant element in toxic workplaces. It’s almost impossible to feel comfortable and wanted when colleagues triangle us out. One of the great ironies of triangles is that the very act of excluding people reveals that those on the same side of the triangle are actually uncomfortable with each other; by teaming up against you, they don’t have to deal with their own underlying discomfort and distrust.
• How do they hand you the “anxiety football” and what impact does it have on you? One constant element in every toxic workplace is anxiety. By definition, if we feel no anxiety about our work setting, then it isn’t toxic. When morale is low and work is not a happy place to be, people tend—either consciously or unconscious-
ly—to make others feel anxious. This is similar to triangling in that, if I can make you feel anxious, then I don’t have to feel anxious. By dodging Carli’s questions, her co-workers left her carrying the anxiety. The boss who tries to make his or her employees get along with each other au- tomatically inherits the anxiety they had been causing one another. It’s helpful to think of anxiety as a discreet thing, like a hot potato or a football. In the example we began with, Mr. Duncan tossed Carli the anxiety football in an obvious way and it had an immediate and detrimental impact on her. So who wants you to be anxious and what are they consciously or subcon- sciously achieving through your anxiety?
• How do you want things to be that they are not? This is most important question of all. It’s not enough to say we’d like our workplace to be serene. What has to change for you to feel peaceful, nurtured, welcomed and empowered where you work? Once you have made that decision, then the tools we will offer in the next Natural Triad can be used to achieve your goals, to transform a toxic work environ- ment into one that is pleasant, meaningful and worth your work.
In August, Dr. Mike Simpson will
offer a two separate three-hour seminars entitled “Dealing with a Toxic Workplace Environment.” One seminar will be held on Sunday, August 18, at the First Chris- tian Church of Greensboro, 1900 W. Market Street, 6-9 p.m. The second seminar will be held on
Tuesday, August 27, at the Parkway United Church of Christ at the intersec- tion of Irving Street and Silas Creek Park- way in Winston-Salem. The two sessions will be identical in their content, focused entirely on the questions and needs of the participants. The cost per participant is $25, which
may be paid at the beginning of the ses- sion. You may register to attend either by calling (336) 257-9276 or emailing fixy-
ourfamily@mail.com.
A “third generation” Family Systems prac- titioner, Simpson is the founder of Fix Your Family and a Family Wellness Coach who has used Family Systems to work with in- dividuals and groups for the past 25 years. The author of the book Fix Your Family, his website is
fixyourfamily.org. See ad on page 16.
Dixon & Associates Therapy Services
We look at each patient as a unique individual, not a diagnosis. Personal attention is what our success is based on,
and our whole company is set up to make everyone’s experience with therapy a positive one.
Lori Dixon, OT/L Our Specialties:
Myofascial Release • Chronic Pain • Neck & Back Pain CranioSacral Therapy • TMJ Dysfunction
Women’s Health Issues • Hand Injuries • Orthopaedic Injuries Functional Capacity Evaluations (FCEs) • Worker’s Compensation
We file medical insurance and Medicare • BlueCross/Blue Shield Provider 336.889.5676
204 Gatewood Avenue • High Point, NC 27262
www.DixonTherapy.com
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