Time zone trauma
As a frequent traveller, I can’t begin to count the number of times I’ve jolted awake with hair askew in panicked confusion frantically searching for a phone to tell me what time it is and where in the world I am that day. In the year that the Atlantic Ocean separated my partner and me (something I haven’t quite forgiven the ocean for yet, by the way), this frenzy was doubled as I tried to account for the time difference and guess what part of his day he might be in.
Expats often suffer from a unique ailment I call “Time Zone Trauma”, characterised by reorganising the order of your day to ensure you maximise the time you and your faraway loved ones have to interact before one of you is off to bed. There is also a good deal of obsessive clock checking and anxious impatience over things you consider to be a waste of your precious shared awake time, such as your underground commute without cell service. In short, time zones go from being something you rarely considered to become a very central part of your day to day.
You’re in luck, as I am a certified expert in Time Zone Trauma (in that I invented the term and made a certificate on my computer). While the only true cure is moving back home, fear not – the symptoms are very treatable and those who are afflicted often go on to have long, happy lives so long as they follow a few key suggestions.
Design your day
Schedule tasks that require your undivided attention or that can’t be done with a phone in hand mindfully so as not to steal away your limited interactive time together.
Prioritising the time when you’re both awake is easier to do when you’ve sched- uled your day accordingly. If you live in a time zone ahead of your loved ones, con- sider turning your traditional day on its head: if you are a morning person, com- plete some of the typical tasks that would keep you busy in your evening free time before your friends and family are even awake. Hit the gym for an early morning workout rather than heading over after work as you might typically do, or do that
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laundry that has been piling up before you leave your house for the day. Front-loading your daily activities increases the probabil- ity that you will be available for Skype ses- sions with your sister that mainly consist of you saying, “wow, that’s so crazy...” as she tells you yet another terrible tale.
If you are behind your loved ones, re- member they’ve nearly completed their day before you’ve even started and they’ll probably have a lot to share with you. My partner kept his phone on silent at night so that I could send him frequent updates of things I wanted to tell him about as they occurred throughout my day. That way, he had a hit list of things to catch up with me about and never felt left out of my daily experiences. I’d stay up later to talk to him, and that way we’d usually be able to keep an hour of time set aside just for us. At the weekend, he’d wake up extra early to make sure we had what felt like bonus time. This commitment strengthened our bond as it demon- strated our willingness to accommodate one another above the other distractions.
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