OFFSIDE OFFSIDE Boozy burglar caught after falling asleep


A barefoot man was caught sleeping in a golf course shed after he allegedly broke in and raided the fridge of booze.


Kabe Goddard, 22, was found taking a nap in the greenkeeper’s shed at the Palmerston Golf Club, Australia.


When staff arrived the next morning, he was fast asleep at the scene, said Greenkeeper Scott Trembath.


Once Goddard woke up, he didn’t off er much of an explanation and simply put his shoes back on and tried to leave.


Police were called and Goddard was taken to the station where he was charged with property damage, aggravated unlawful entry and stealing.


Moral of the story... don’t drink and fall asleep in places you shouldn’t!


Nike new shoes; a cut above the rest?


Have you ever been walking through a fi eld and thought ‘I wish my feet would just blend right in with the grass like camoufl age’?


London gnome protest


Four in ten homeowners have had items stolen from their garden - including bikes, plant pots and garden gnomes.


A demonstration (by gnomes) recently took place outside City Hall, London and called on homeowners to do more to protect their dwellings and their gnomes.


Tom Guy, global product director at Centrica Hive, said: “We have carried out research which revealed a signifi cant number of people have experienced theft or damage to possessions outside their home. With everything from bicycles to garden tools to


plants being targeted. Sadly, even the much beloved gnome is under threat.”


Keep your gnomes safe guys! Escaped rhea stays at Evesham Golf Club


An escaped rhea looks set to make its home at a golf course it has been roaming for more than two months.


The 6ft, fl ightless bird arrived at Evesham Golf Club, in Worcestershire, in October and staff have so far been unable to catch it.


Golf club workers said it has become “a star” since its arrival and is “more than welcome to stay”.


The club said it was a pet which escaped from the village of Harvington.


Due to its speed the bird was nicknamed Linford, after sprinter Linford Christie.


Club secretary Fraser Williamson said it was “monitoring” the bird’s welfare adding the club had liaised with animal charities after it arrived in October.


144 PC February/March 2019


A 50-yard kick was made from the resulting penalty. Red Star went on to lose 38-10 in the fi rst round of the Rugby League Challenge Cup.


If you spot anything you think might give readers a chuckle send it to: kerry.haywood@pitchcare.com


No, me neither, but no matter, we can all now live that fantasy thanks to the folk at Nike, who are launching a new Air Max trainer made of fake grass.


They’re called the Air Max 1 Golf, and to be fair, they might look pretty darn snazzy on a golf course, which is what they’re loosely designed for.


Nike’s fuzzy new footwear will be irresistible to the touch and set you back £110.


Gone with the wind!


The wind wreaked havoc at Millom as Red Star Belgrade’s fi rst half kick-off went backwards.


The not so serious side of the industry


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