LIFE • PHILOSOPHY • PERSPECTIVES In A Word


by Marcia Singer of Santa Rosa, CA. ~ www.lovearts.info ~ lovearts@att.net Living the Upbeat Life...”OTHERing”


Q: My resolution for 2019 is to get along better with, or at least be more tolerant of peo- ple with opposite views. I need the peace of mind. Your


thoughts? ~Serious in Sonoma


A: It’s so true, how we can set our- selves apart from certain people and then feel alien-ated! Shaming or blam- ing, judging them (sometimes


our-


selves too) in the mix. Being prejudiced, biased, assum- ing you’re right and they’re wrong, rather than trying to have a connection, a relation- ship. I call that “other-ing.” It’s the opposite of an upbeat approach to being human. Late December, I


was a repeat guest on KOWS radio, for Roberta Teller’s “Wise Woman Storytime.” We each were wanting to take positive steps to be more compas- sionate, and open to learning about people we might disagree with, or fear. To being able to engage, rather than just avoid these others. Two days before the show, I remem- bered an essay I wrote years ago, published in Awareness Magazine, Nov-Dec 2003. “Angels In Disguise” retold the saga of my solo camping trip to the San Bernardino area over Memorial Day weekend.


I got stranded, and I had no choice but to approach folks I would ordinarily not trust be- ing around, let alone be alone with. It started with strangers


bottles all over the desert floor –and with a rifle range down the road. But over the three days of that adventure, I had no fewer than six


angels in disguise assist in my rescue. It was a


life-changing event, I realized that angels are everywhere, es- pecially when you most need them, and they seldom resemble the sort you find in fancy gift shops. Back then, des-


perate, I was com- pelled to surren- der into my need to be rescued. To


put my life, car, body, money and destination in the hands of people –mostly all men – that in other circumstances, I might never meet –and would have avoided. Today, now, in- stead of waiting until I am des- perate again, why not look for chances to interact with peo- ple ‘different’ from me. I can put my fears on hold, breathe, extend the benefit of a doubt, be open to an honest, real con-


in big trucks barreling down the isolated dirt road by my hidden camp site, ‘yahoos’ with guns shooting up glass


versation. Bring my curiosity instead of my bias –in a word, put aside my othering. As I practice with unsuspecting neighbors or co-work- ers, I try to discover what’s important to them, what they value most, what they want in life, in daily life. What’s happening is, I touch our common hu- manity. And, I feel so much more peaceful, welcome and inspired to be alive. Here’s another short tale! After the first De-


cember rains subsided, I went for a nature walk. Walking from the opposite direc- tion --kind of a meta- phor-- was a young man, eyes glued to his phone. I kept watching,


semi-judging this behavior… Could he tell? He looked up at me, with curious, disarm- ing eyes. I asked what could possibly be more engaging than the beautiful scenery and fresh air? To my surprise and delight, he agreed, and began a dialogue that lasted nearly 90 minutes. “Ben” dropped what he was doing and took a chance on me. I dropped what I was doing and took a chance letting a strange guy walk alongside me. The con- versation moved from videos and screen time to parent- ing –and then religion. We couldn’t have been more dif- ferent –and yet alike in our passion for truths, our mutual curiosity, investigations for living the good and right life. We swapped phone numbers and emails.


This year, and Valen-


tine-ing month, I want lots more connection, and in a word, less othering. Shining delight, Marcia


Wonder is the feeling of the philosopher, and philosophy begins in wonder. ~ Plato UPBEAT TIMES, INC. • February 2019 • 23


Upbeat in Petaluma, CA!!


JOKES & Humor #6


At an art gallery, a woman and her ten-year-old son were having a tough time choosing between one of my paintings and another artist’s work. They finally went with mine.


“I guess you decided you prefer an autumn scene to a floral,” I said. “No,” said the boy.


“Your painting’s wider, so it’ll cover three holes in our wall.” ~


While I was out to lunch, my coworker answered my phone and told the caller that I would be back in 20 minutes. The woman asked, “Is that 20 minutes Central Standard Time?”


“OTHERing”


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