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BERNIE By Bernie Siegel, MD


live your life W


e are never told the odds are 100% that we will die. We find so many ways to deny our mortality with statistics about varying diseases and never using the word death


but when you add up the numbers there are no other options. One word of advice, don’t do things to not die it because it doesn’t work, and you will be very upset about the time you wasted trying to avoid dying.


Many years ago I thought one of our children, then age seven, had a malignant bone tumor and the odds were that he would be dead in a year. I was very depressed by what I thought I knew was going to happen and tried to communicate this depressing news to the family. One day he walked into the room where I was sitting and said, “Dad can I talk to you? You’re handling this poorly.” He taught me what every child and animal knows. Today is the only day which exists. The future is unknown and we are here to enjoy the day and not let what we think will happen destroy our lives with fear and worry about what may never be. As my wife says, “Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first.” Our attitude is what creates our life no matter what the circumstances are that we live in.


When I was speaking to a group of people with bladder con- trol problems I mentioned how lucky they were. They wanted to know why I said that and I responded, “Every time you see a sign that says ‘Wet Floor’ you can do it.” They laughed and I think I gave them something to smile about in the future. I have mentioned before how a man helped me by coming up to me and telling me I had an angel and he knew his name. He said this after I shared a story about an accident I had and that I had no explanation for why I wasn’t killed or seriously injured. I asked, “What’s his name?” He asked, “What did you say when the ladder broke and you fell off the roof?” “I said, Oh Shit!” He said, “That’s his name.” I can’t tell you how many times in the midst of a disaster I have yelled out my angel’s name and ended up laughing and avoided disasters because of how relaxed I became at that moment.


The greatest force available to man is love. It makes us blind to faults so we can heal relationships. It eliminates enemies and does so much more. I believe when one does what one loves and loses track of time, aging is avoided. I think this is the fountain of youth. Do what makes you lose track of time and you lose all awareness


34 ELM™ Maine - November/December 2018


of physical and emotional problems. You are now a divine creator and time and matter do not exist. It is similar to an out of the body experience.


When you want to drive your enemies crazy love them and torment with tenderness. I know from experience with people abused as children what can happen when they decide to love the unlovable and forgive the unforgivable. What happens? They become free to live in the moment and not suffer in the past. So, abandon your past and use your passion to create a future.


Women with the same cancers as men live longer. Married men with the same cancers live longer than single men. Monkeys given AIDS who lived in a cage with friends lived six months longer than monkeys with AIDS living with strangers. You are not a statistic and please do not die on schedule because of what a doctor may say. If you offer to bet a doctor that you will live longer than pre- dicted they don’t take the bet.


Stop thinking and start feeling. As I said, don’t deny your


mortality, accept it and go home and live your chocolate ice cream. You may be amazed at what that does to the odds. As one woman wrote me who went home to die and started doing everything she loved to do before she died, “I didn’t die and now I am so busy I’m killing myself.” My advice to her was to take a nap. Resting is an activity which will allow you to burn up and not out.


Live your life and save your true self. And don’t wait until you


develop a life threatening illness to give yourself permission to tell the world to back off and let you choose your way. As my mom says, “When you have a decision to make do what will make you happy.”


For many, Dr. Bernard Siegel-or Bernie, as he prefers to be called-needs no introduction. He has touched many lives all over the Planet. In 1978, he reached a national and then international audience when he began talking about patient empowerment and the choice to live fully and die in peace. Read Bernie’s regular blog posts on his website where you will also find his books, articles, and CDs: http://www.berniesiegelmd.com. He is the Co-Academic Director of the Integrative Health and Heal- ing M.A. Program at The Graduate Institute, Bethany, CT


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