back to the present moment and notice your surroundings. Feel your feet on the floor. Get physically and mentally in this moment and let the ruminating go.


Apologize “A stiff apology is a second insult…


The injured party does not want to be compensated because he has been wronged; he wants to be healed because he has been hurt.”~ G. K. Chesterton


When you torture yourself as a form of penance no one wins.


You get emotionally stuck, the person you wronged isn’t ad- dressed, and the pain keeps getting resurrected and spread to others in your life. Get clear by discussing your actions with a supportive person.


Take responsibility for the hurt you caused and apologize. Don’t try to explain or rationalize; just express remorse for all of your actions that created pain for the other person, and make amends.


Calm Yourself


“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” ~ Paul Boese


These patterns of self-flagellation run deep, and you will


have to practice how to handle things differently over and over to create new ways of thinking. Dr. Luskin created a mindful practice to help shift you into a calm space so you can move forward.


His technique is called PERT, which is Positive Emotion


Refocusing Technique. Simply close your eyes, draw in a long breath that gently pushes out your belly, and then slowly exhale, relaxing your belly. Repeat this a second time. On the third breath create a mental picture of someone you love or a place that is special to you: a lovely waterfall, a winding forest path, or a sunny beach. Notice how you feel and center those warm feelings in the


area around your heart. Now ask this peaceful part of you what you can do to help you feel better, and when you receive an answer, open your eyes and take action.


Establish Balance


“I don't know if I continue, even today, always liking myself. But what I learned to do many years ago was to


forgive myself. It is very important for every human being to forgive herself or himself because if you live, you will make mistakes- it is inevitable. But once you do and you see the mistake, then you forgive yourself and say, '


Well, if I'd known better I'd have done better,' that's all.” ~ Maya Angelou


Have you been so preoccupied with making yourself wrong


for all the awful things you’ve done in life that you’ve dismissed all the good things you do? My guess is you are not a terrible


Ami Ingram, MD


Are You Ready to Feel Better? 336.365.6010


www.FamilyFunctionalMed.com AUGUST 2018 15


Desire a results-oriented holistic solution? Do you yearn to: Cre- ate more balance in your life; Stop feeling so exhausted; Un- cover your life’s passion; Attain clarity about what’s next for you; Revive your relationships; Craft a deeper spiritual connection; Access a place of health & happiness? Donna can guide you from here to there, call for your free 15-minute consultation and dis- cover a different approach. 336-540-0088. Offices in Greensboro & Winston-Salem. Visit www.donnaburick.com. See ad on page 25.


person who enjoys hurting others. Yes, you’ve made mistakes. OK, you’re human. But you’ve also taken in a stray cat, helped out a friend who was sick, and visited your old neighbor in the nursing home. Establish a mental balance; don’t make yourself a total villain


and don’t make yourself a total superstar. Find a middle way and see yourself as someone who does the best you can at the time and strives to do better in the future. This process works if you work it. Too often we run things around in our minds, creating mental ruts that keep us stuck and in pain. Stop the madness and clean up some of those old regrets. Let yourself and others off the hook by facing your mistakes, making a sincere apology, and creating some new mental pat- terns.


Donna Burick, BCC


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