QUIZ
CAN YOU NAME THE SHOW? “What’choo talkin’ ’bout, Willis?” “Oh my God! They killed Kenny!” “Just the one, Mrs Wembley.” “Bazinga!”
“No likey, no lighty!”
“I have a cunning plan…” “Silly old moo.”
“Danger, Will Robinson!” “The truth is out there.”
“Smoke me a kipper, I’ll be back for breakfast.”
“Back of the net!”
“They’re out to get you, better leave while you can, don’t wanna be a boy, you wanna be a man.”
“You know I’m just a fool who’s willing to sit around and wait for you.”
“Remember to let her into your heart, then you can start to make it better.”
. “Clock strikes upon the hour and the sun begins to fade”
“Life is a mystery, everyone must stand alone”
LYRICS TO GO
CAN YOU GUESS THE SONG?
“She played the fiddle in an Irish ban but she fell in love with an English man”
“I met a gin-soaked, bar-room queen in Memphis, she tried to take me upstairs for a ride.”
JOKES
- KEN DODD - SOME OF HIS BEST JOKES
So it turns out that if you bang two halves of a horse together, it doesn’t make the sound of a coconut.
The man who invented cat’s eyes got the idea when he saw a cat
facing him in the road. If the cat had been facing the other way, he’d have invented the pencil sharpener
Tonight when you get home, put a handful of ice cubes down your wife’s nightie and say: ‘There’s the chest freezer you always wanted’
My Dad knew I was going to be a comedian. When I was a baby he said: ‘Is this a joke?’
I have kleptomania. But when it gets bad, I take something for it.
Stuck? Nailed it? Find the answers for Outsmarted online at
outlineonline.com
HEAD TO NORFOLK AND
NORWICH FESTIVAL
SPRING! is finally upon us which means it is time to shake off our thermals and get the hell outside without having to check exactly how frosticatingly freezing it’s going to be (although I have probably condemned us to ‘unseasonably cold for the time of year’, urgings to ‘wrap up warm’ and ‘worst weather ever for this time of year’ just by writing that). So how shall we celebrate this Norwich? Let’s do what we always do, and get excited about the Norfolk & Norwich Festival which will be coming to the city near you from the evening of 11th May when it all kicks off with the launch event in the Cathedral Close.
We are promised an carnivalesque open air opera house with drummers and an aerial display to get us in the mood before everything settles down nicely for the next two weeks with all of the usual weird, wonderful, and unexpected events that make you pause slightly if you come across them without being aware, or even if you’ve read up on them, booked tickets, AND watched previous performances on YouTube. It’s that lovely little slice of time when you find yourself visiting parts of the city you’d never normally bother with... and then it’s over.
So how to fill the time before and after? By getting the hell outside, of course. We have a ridiculous number of green spaces in this city, most of which fly completely under the radar. Did you know about Mile Cross Nature Reserve? Old Library Wood in NR1? Te Dell on Earlham Road? Nope, me neither until I just looked up the parks section on
norwich.gov.uk which is crammed with all of the big hitters (Eaton, Earlham, Chapelfield, Waterloo) but also wonderful little spots like St Bartholomew’s off Waterworks Road, or Kett’s Cave not far from Mousehold. It doesn’t matter where you are in the city, just like with the N&N Festival, there will be something near you to make you glad it’s spring, glad you live here, and glad to be the hell outside (but wrap up warm, just in case). JESS MACDONALD
OUTLINEONLINE.CO.UK / APR-MAY 2018 / 7
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