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by tim parks


CONFESSIONS FROM THE CATBIRD SEAT OK, I’ll admit a gay sin, so sit right back as I confess this little nug- get of doubt to you. And please save the judgments for me, k? Deep breath and exhaling in the most diabolical case of losing faith ever... I didn’t think that Anne Hathaway could pull off the role of one Selena Kyle, aka: Catwoman. I am not worried about things being thrown at me, because we’re “the gays.” Hey, stereotypes kinda do come from somewhere, not all of it born from ig od I didn t r


she was fond of the catnip—I always see Annie (we’re tight) as the hear-me-meow-much-put-upon-assistant to Ms. Streep in The Devil Wears Prada. Or as Jake Gyllenhaal’s longsuffering wife in Brokeback Mountain—ever notice that her wigs got more elaborate, but she never aged? Ah, the magic of Hollywood. Mind you, that’s not the point of the story.


t I think of t) as


Or as Jake Gyllenhaals longsuff the magic of Holly of the st


So, when casting notices went around that Cher was not going to play the fy the feline feline femme fatale (true story) for the er of The Dark Knight’s incredible cinematic esy of the ev


when casting notic final chapter of don the ark K ound that Cher emme fatale (true st edible cinema


journey, courtesy of the ever-brilliant Christopher Nolan, I was obviously at a gay loss. Just who the hell was go- ing to don the patent black and


t Chr suit it whip of y matching


ear ensemble and let it whip. Who I implore of you? You know, I was hoping I might even get to try out, for this most coveted of parts when I news,


this most of par


received that ole


Princess Diaries beat me to the punch. It’s probably a good thing, as I was about to call on Joan Rivers for a guest star on The Fashion Police, to go all Sean Young circa ’90s and her big bag of unraveled yarn, for wanting to be Hello Kitty when Tim Burton said, “No-go, crazy pants!”


the punch. a good thing a guest star ashion P all S ca ’90s her big bag of unr be Hello on said April 1983 tale


. Just who the hell leather


cat opher Nolan,


e that her wigs got more elabor . M


, but she s not the


w and slushees dont come out of your clothes so easily ask the gang onGlee. I am all for being sticky and sweet, but that case of “TMI” from TIM—isn’t it always? Anyhoo, back to the same Bat Time; Same Bat Channel, with the show already in progress... I always think of our Miss Hathaway... No, not the lesbionic ver- sion from The Beverly Hillbillies, although now that I think of it, ond of the


Thank God I didn’t reveal this during Comic-Con, as those geeks can throw and slushees don’t come out of your clothes so easily— just ask the gang on is a case of


not all of it born from ignorance. eal this during C


I am all


s think of our Miss Ha ly H


it alw on, as those geeks


being sticky and sw s? A


, with the show already in pr not the lesbionic , although , back


, but tha the same


THE


POSSE on Har in, P


P*SSY


CATWOMAN’S COMIC BOOK HERSTORY: The reason for all the


all the hullabaloo regarding said


casting, you may ask? I’ve had an affinity for the feline foe since she first appearede she first appeared in DC Comics Batman #1, in the Spring of 1940, when


, Jean—pic


the Spring of 1940, when she was simply known as The Cat. It is widely believed is widely believed that she had a two-fold inspirational genesis—Bob her on Harlow, Jean—picture come on Vogue! The second felonious feline altar ego cousin Ruth Steel, which book villainess in the mo


ob Kane reportedly based e of a beauty queen,


ond source for Selena Kyle’s Ruth S


eline altar ego is said to be that of Kane’s , which in and of itself screams


comic book villainess, either that or a porn actress starring in the movie Clambake—meouch, keep the claws in, Parks.


Of note, C, Catwoman’s first nude, very risqué for that ics. What’s that you say? villain costume and


true iden and thanks


s first appearance featured her t time in history of the com- y? She appeared sans a super


ostume and in regular folks garb…oh,


there goes my chick wood. Ten years later, her true identity was revealed as, wait for it, Selena Kyle and thanks to those tion, geez.


1977, the char the w


those already paying atten-


In 1977, the character was, ahem, unmasked as the woman “Golden Age” Batman ulti- mately married


ied in a Secret Origin as a new


heroine called The Huntress (Secret Origins of Superheroes #17). Girl, that’s so scandalous, too bad they didn’t go on Maury, as it ound then. How they, um


wasn’t around


(Brave and the Bold #197) while the wedding itself was shown in 1981’swn in 1981’ Superman Family #211. Aww, we are family, I’ve got all my Super Friends and me… holla.


1983 tale The Autobiography the B


got all


There was more kerfuffle,, when Batman’s adver- sary was all “Pre-Crisis” upon dating Bruce Wayne in February 1979 (y 1979 (Batman#308), which elevated her to a regular character for close to a year in where she looked like zel with a heaping dash


e ker a regular char er in the Batman titles


a year in her un-costumed persona; she looked like a cross between Idina Men- with a heaping dash of Bea Arthur thrown in.


32 RAGE monthly | AUGUST 2012 | AUGUST | AUGUST 2012


“came together,” was featured in the y of Bruce Wayne


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