MOTHER S
Like an adult missing their front teeth, I was so keenly aware that my home didn’t have a mother in it to bake cookies, plait my hair, or do tuck
shop.Lining up for the Mother’s Day stall each year, buying soap or talcum powder for my grandmother, despite how wonderful she was, wasn’t quite the same.
THE DRAGON LEFT BEHIND The loss of my mother when I was four marked my life in a very significant way. She walked out on our family on Mother’s Day. As you can imagine, a death might
be far easier to accept than a mother walking out on three children under four years of age. In the magnitude of sins in the eyes
of our society, maternal abandonment is right up there. Especially when she abandons three very small people. Experiencing such significant
abandonment so early in life lead me to over-compensate with ridiculously high standards of achievement and a dragon of perfectionism I wrestle with every day. The journey towards self-acceptance
(accidentally) found my
How I
partner and purpose
Little did I know that forgiving my mother would bring me my partner, my life purpose, and catalyse a global quest for true beauty.
by Trudy Johnston M 6 MAY 2017
other’s Day as a child was the one day of the year that filled me with utter dread. I went
to St Monica’s Primary and the good Catholics would organise a Mother’s Day stall in the hall where you could buy your mother a present. It was a big deal. These were the days when warm milk
was delivered daily to the classroom entrance, everyone in my class received Holy Communion, and out of 30 kids, there was only one other child who had divorced parents. I was the only one who was brought up by my dad.
and self-worth for me is a lifelong one. Some days feel as though I have a sign around my neck screaming ‘reject and abandon here’. Other days are sprinkled with a lot more compassion and understanding.
THE MOMENT THAT MADE ME REALISE THE NEED FOR CHANGE When starting a relationship in my forties with a fellow yogi who was quite sweet, but much younger than me, I knew that if I didn’t revisit this internal, all-too-familiar territory in a new way, I’d be lining up again for another round of pain, sorrow, rejection, and failure. And abandonment. As I became closer with this man,
my terror swelled. I knew I needed to seriously face this inner dragon, both for the sake of the relationship and for my health and sense of meaning in my life, even though I didn’t know what it was at the time. Long story short: I started to pray. I
made a simple altar with a pink candle in it. I figured that the colour pink
Page 1 |
Page 2 |
Page 3 |
Page 4 |
Page 5 |
Page 6 |
Page 7 |
Page 8 |
Page 9 |
Page 10 |
Page 11 |
Page 12 |
Page 13 |
Page 14 |
Page 15 |
Page 16 |
Page 17 |
Page 18 |
Page 19 |
Page 20 |
Page 21 |
Page 22 |
Page 23 |
Page 24 |
Page 25 |
Page 26 |
Page 27 |
Page 28 |
Page 29 |
Page 30 |
Page 31 |
Page 32 |
Page 33 |
Page 34 |
Page 35 |
Page 36 |
Page 37 |
Page 38 |
Page 39 |
Page 40 |
Page 41 |
Page 42 |
Page 43 |
Page 44 |
Page 45 |
Page 46 |
Page 47 |
Page 48 |
Page 49 |
Page 50 |
Page 51 |
Page 52 |
Page 53 |
Page 54 |
Page 55 |
Page 56 |
Page 57 |
Page 58 |
Page 59 |
Page 60 |
Page 61 |
Page 62 |
Page 63 |
Page 64 |
Page 65 |
Page 66 |
Page 67 |
Page 68 |
Page 69 |
Page 70 |
Page 71 |
Page 72
