INSIGHT
ARE YOU RESISTING RECEIVING SOMETHING GOOD? Do you ever feel unworthy to receive good things in your life? It’s not an easy question to answer. Some of you are in touch with your feelings of not deserving. Some of you are not. I dare say that feelings of unworthiness are present in most of us, although we might not be aware of them. The first step in overcoming these feelings is to become aware of them. This can’t only be a mental process. Feelings of unworthiness need to be recognised and felt before healing can happen. Joyce and I see many people in our
A closer look at
unworthiness Are you resisting something good because you don’t believe you deserve it? by Barry Vissell
counselling practice who deny any feelings of unworthiness. These same people show some of the classic signs of unworthiness; difficulty asking for what they need, most forms of procrastination, resistance to lifestyle improvement, not taking good enough care of themselves, or problems with addiction. There are perhaps many times when we resist something good simply because we don’t believe we deserve it.
CLUES FROM OUR CHILDHOOD Where do these feelings of unworthiness come from? Our childhood holds some important clues. I once wrote an article for our website titled, “How We Internalize Blame” (on our website,
SharedHeart.org), where I wrote about a violent act by my mother and the message given to me that her violence was my fault. I learned that I deserved violence…not helpful! But I very much needed to become aware of this feeling
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before I could learn on a feeling level that no child deserves violence. I also learned in my childhood that
love was conditional. I needed to earn love by being extra good. So as an adult, and a doctor / psychotherapist, the more I helped people, the more good I did in the world, the more I deserved to be happy (or so I unconsciously thought). But this never worked because it was a flawed concept. Twenty years ago, at a couple’s
retreat at Rowe Conference Centre in Massachusetts, I vulnerably shared these feelings. Scott Kalechstein Grace, our musician and assistant, suggested I experiment with lying on one of the couches in the back of the room and completely letting go of leading the workshop. He said, “Don’t worry, Joyce and I can lead the workshop just fine.” Just then, an older man suggested I lie with my head on his lap so he could father me and keep giving me the message that I was perfectly worthy without having to do a thing, without having to prove my worthiness. It was a fabulous experience! I really
let go. Even though I only lay there for perhaps 20 minutes, I returned with a
Healing our unworthiness depends on our acceptance of our humanity and our divinity.
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