of lovers. In short, forgive yourself for everything. Let yourself off the hook. And especially, if there is something big in your life you want to change that has been a pattern for a long time, forgive yourself for that. Without forgiveness, we can’t let go of the past, and so there is no inner space in our life for that change to come in and for a new future to emerge. When you forgive yourself fully and completely for everything and make peace with your past, you are able to forgive others fully and completely for everything, and to make peace with them. Relationships become more harmonious.
SELF-ACCEPTANCE The third step in the journey to self-love is self-acceptance. Are there things about yourself that you have always wanted to change? Is there a persistent theme in your life that just never shifts and drives you mad? Accept what is. Accept yourself exactly how you are today. As the Buddha said, “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserves your love and affection.” Practise accepting yourself as you
are each day. This brings you into alignment with your soul and your heart. You can’t open fully to love if there is a conflict going on inside, so practise self- acceptance. Accept the shadow parts of yourself; what I call your monsters. These are the monsters of self-doubt and of fear that usually show up when you are moving out of your comfort zone. They are afraid and they want to keep you safe. So they start whispering to you to retreat and retract and not
carry out that bold and scary plan for expanding your life. Accept and welcome these monsters. Invite them in for a cup of tea. Tell them that you love them, and that you will keep them safe. Tell them that you understand their fear but that you’re in charge and it’s going to be okay. For instance, if you are in a job you don’t like, then accept that that’s how it is right now, while making an exit plan.
YOUR INNER CHILD The fourth step in the self-love journey is making peace with your inner child. There is a child-self within all of us. If our needs were not fully met by our parents or guardians, or if we were mistreated in some way as children, this child-self is likely to still be resentful of this. They may be angry. Or they may be sad. If you are not in contact with your inner child, he or she may come out sometimes and act out in your life. They may take you over and yell and scream at people you love. You may feel like you have been occupied by another being. All they want is to be heard, to be listened to, and to know that you are loving and caring for them. So you need to develop a relationship
with your child-self. You need to ask them what they need from you. It is almost like a time travel journey where you go back when you child-self was hurt, lost, or confused, and you sit down next to them and have a chat. You ask them how they feel. You tell them you are there for them and that you can help. Then you do what they want you to. They may want you to take them flying over the treetops. In your imagination you can
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do that. Slowly, you will start to develop a relationship with your inner child, and they will start to feel the love from you that they might have been missing.
LOOK IN THE MIRROR The journey to loving yourself is a lifelong journey. These are four of the important steps along the way. Another important step is to develop a daily practice of self-loving. Try doing affirmations each day in front of the mirror. Each morning, sit and tell yourself how much you love yourself. Tell yourself you are beautiful, that you are lovable, that you are great. It may be challenging at first, but stick with it. Over time, you will notice a change and you will start to really believe these affirmations, and so your self-love will grow. And when you are really and truly loving yourself, the love from others that you searched for before will show up like magic in your life. People are attracted to people who love themselves, because they want to feel your love too. ■
Connect with other readers & comment on this article at
www.livingnow.com.au
Michelle Taffe is the founder of The Global Yogi website (
www.theglobalyogi.com) where she shares articles on self-love and personal and
spiritual growth, as well as yoga and spirit events worldwide. She is also the founder of a Meetup group called Self-Love Sessions.
https://www.meetup.com/Self- Love-Sessions/
Know Thyself as Soul
You are a soul of a permanent unchangeable nature, and if you would live as a soul, you would never be affected or changed by outer changes. -Sant Baljit Singh
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