friendship
need to find her way to cope. Remember this is about her issues, not about your pregnancy or baby. Pregnancy and motherhood changes
everyone. If you have a demanding friend, who is used to taking up a large share of your time and can’t seem to understand that your life has changed, then you need to reassess how you spend your time with her. Te key word in this instance is
‘boundaries’. Explain to your friend why you can’t (and won’t) take late night calls or why you don’t want to go out drinking all night. Instead, get a babysitter once a month and
go out with her for some one-to-one time where your baby isn’t crying in the middle.
Alternatively, meet her during the day for lunch. Build new time for her but within the
boundaries of what you can now afford in terms of energy and time. If you have a friend who feels the need to
dictate to you about how you should be doing things, then this can prove extremely irritating – and tiring! When you’re dealing with ‘mummy friends’ who have been there and done that par excellence, then make sure that you set out your stall early one. Explain that, while you’re grateful for their advice and support, you’d like to do things in your own way. If your friend can’t do as you ask, then spend less time with her. If your friendship is based on her dictating to
you about how you’re bringing about baby, you’re not going to get anything from this relationship. Te truth is that friendships do change
over the course of your life, with so much depending on whether you and your friends are travelling on the same life path at the same time. Tese changes don't have to spell the end of relationships you value, however! Just like any relationship, maintaining friendships takes a lot of hard work. Sadly, some friendships simply don’t make
the transition into motherhood and, while this is hurtful, it’s important to realise that for every friend you lose, you will make new friends, who will be there for you and for your child. „
MODERNMUM 71
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