dads
HERE ARE SOME OF THE MOST COMMON WORRIES DADS TO BE HAVE
“My advice to any first-time dads – now – would be to try and relax and enjoy the experience. At the end of the day, most babies are born perfectly well and all’s good”
> Well, talking to a good friend or family member who’s already a dad can be a good starting point to prepare for what’s to come. Most women will say that, once baby is born, they forget about the pain, but it can be a good idea to devise a birth plan, so that dad knows what to expect and what is likely to happen during labour. Reading up on pregnancy will also
provide some understanding of what mum is experiencing and, in fact, most of today’s pregnancy books include a chapter for expectant dads. Most books have various sections that cover specific concerns: a fact that was corroborated by the Natural Baby Shower’s study, which showed that reading baby books was the most common form of preparation for expectant dads - even among the 18-24 age group - with 23 per cent of dads turning to books. Tirty-year-old Stephen Moffatt is a new
dad, who’s loving the experience that being a first-time parent entails. But Stephen hasn’t
48MODERNMUM
forgotten the number of things he worried about throughout his wife’s pregnancy. As he openly admits – you name it, he worried about it. Books, he says, were his ‘go to’. ‘I definitely gravitated towards books, but
I also did quite a bit of Googling for info. It definitely put my mind at rest at times, but at other times I went into complete panic mode. Would I be a good dad? Would I be able to cope with watching the birth? ‘My advice to any first-time dads – now –
would be to try and relax and enjoy the experience. At the end of the day, most babies are born perfectly well and all’s good. In terms of being a dad now, I’d simply say that it’s absolutely fantastic, but that every day is a learning experience. Tere’s no manual – and believe me I’ve looked! – and you have to pick it up as you go along. Nobody is a perfect parent, but you do your best and that’s all you can do. Yes, you’re going to make mistakes but you’ll only make them once. It’s a fabulous experience!’ „
Q: What if there’s something wrong with the baby? A: The simple fact is that most parents to be worry incessantly about something happening to their baby, but most babies are born with no bother at all. If you find that your fears are running away with you, then speak to your wife or partner’s doctor or midwife and they should be able to allay your fears. Don’t sit and stew over the, they’ll just get out of control.
Q: What if I’m not a good dad? My dad wasn’t and I don’t want to be like him. A: A lot of men either try to emulate their father or do the opposite. The secret is to talk about it with a close friend or your partner. You’re not your dad and you can be the dad that you want to be.
Q: What if I can’t change a nappy? A: There’s no manual to teach mum how to do things either – you’ll get the hang of it!
Q: Will I still have time for my friends? A: You will have plenty of offers to babysit and you will get time out. But here’s the thing – you may not want to go out as much, and you might find that nights out are less important.
Q: What if the romance goes out of my relationship with my wife/partner? A: This is really one of those birth myths! Yes, intimacy may be more difficult to plan, but with a little extra effort on both of your parts, it can actually make your relationship even stronger!
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