friendship
There's nothing like a baby/pregnancy to change your friendships. So, if you find that your precious little bundle is coming between you and a close friend, here’s Modern Mum’s guide on how to cope.
When baby meets your
enjoying evenings at home cooing at their baby. As a result, friendships – even long- standing ones - can change dramatically and, on occasion, end completely. For this reason many women, who have
T
just given birth, will oſten find new friends, who can understand what they’ve just gone through and are in the same boat. It’s quite common for people to find that their friendship circle changes during pregnancy and aſter childbirth to include more people with children who can relate to what they’re experiencing. Even with friends you may have had for
years, circumstances – and life changes – can oſten prove just too much to overcome. Tere are ways, however, of making sure that your friendships can stay the course. From the outset, remember that your
friends may need some time to get used to the idea of you becoming a mother, so be sensitive. Some may even be envious of your pregnancy, or the security of your relationship with your partner, or both. Give it a few months and they may come around to the new you (plus baby) -
70MODERNMUM
here’s no doubt that your life changes when you have your first baby. Many women change from being social butterflies to
BFF
especially if you're not always forcing it down their throats. If you find that your friend has become
disinterested, you may need to ask yourself if you’re becoming a baby bore! Whether you intend to do it or not, pregnancy and birth can oſten make your conversation a little one-sided. Without setting a timer, you could try the
tactic of implementing a ten-minute rule, ie, you talk for ten minutes about your life and then allow your friend to talk about her life for the same amount of time. Make a conscious effort to focus more on
the things you have in common (rather than the things you don’t) such as other friends, TV, and relationships. With a little effort on both sides, you should be able to work through this transition period in both of your lives. It goes without saying that during your
pregnancy your friends should be happy for you and give you the emotional support you need. On some occasions, however, it may not be physically possible for your friend to do so. If you have a friend, who has been trying to get pregnant for some time without success, for example, then your pregnancy will throw up negative feelings for your friend, albeit subconsciously and unintentionally.
“Te truth is that fiendships do change over the course of your life, with so much depending on whether you and your fiends are travelling on the same life path at the same time”
Tis scenario is even worse if you have a
friend, who has been told that she cannot have children at all. In this case, your pregnancy will simply heighten her distress, so both of you will have to work very hard at ensuring that your relationship survives. In either case, it’s important to remember
that you have to be sensitive about what’s happening and talk about it with them before your friendship is lost. If your friendship is really strong enough, then honesty on both of your parts is what will save the day. Speak honestly about how she’s making you feel at this time and really listen to her talk about how she feels. Try to understand how your friend feels and give her the time and space she may
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