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BERNIE By Bernie Siegel, MD


Do What Will Make You Happy W


hat we have to realize is that love and aggression are normal feelings but when combined they enhance life. What I mean is that unhealthy aggression is revealed


every day in the newspapers. It is sickening to see all the violence and destructive behavior from shooting people to wars between differing nations, races and religions.


I learned what the ultimate solution to the world’s problem is through a personal incident. I sold a piece of farmland our family owned for generations to a man who was retiring and looking for a change in lifestyle. The summer after he purchased it he showed up at my house with a big metal box. He said, “I was plowing the field and hit something and I dug up this box. This belongs to you and your family.” He put it down and opened it. It was filled with valuable jewelry and gold pieces.


I said, “No, you bought the farm. It’s yours.”


“I bought the farm but this is not part of the farm. It’s your fami- lies’ and not mine.” Well we went on arguing and he walked out without it. Our


conflict went on for weeks And finally I told him we needed to find someone to decide for us. He agreed. We went to a lawyer who told us to just donate it to some charity that we both decided would be appropriate. So we started arguing all over again. I wanted to help children and animals and he wanted to help the homeless and ad- dicts and it got crazy.


At this point the lawyer’s secretary came into the conference room we were sitting in.


wedding gift.” We thanked her and went home and became one family with


nothing to fight over. That is what the world needs to understand and accept. When we are one family there is nothing to fight over.


Let me share one more event that taught me a lot. Many years


ago a childhood friend of mine got into a difficult situation due to a gambling addiction. The organized crime group involved had


34 Essential Living Maine ~ November/December 2016


She said, “Excuse me but may I ask you two a question?” “Sure,” we both replied. “Do you both have children?” she asked. We both said yes. “Do you have a son?” she asked me. “Yes,” I said. “Do you have a daughter?” she asked the other man. “Yes,” he said. “Then tell them to get married and give them the treasure as a


threatened to break every bone in his body or worse if he did not pay up. He said when he revealed that he had no funds available he was told that if he married the crime lord’s daughter they would let him off.


He said the offer was made because she was an ugly witch.


The problem was that unbeknownst to the underworld characters involved, my friend was already married. He said he felt there was no hope and that his addiction would cost him his life. At this point I volunteered to marry the witch. He argued but I persisted and to make a long story short the marriage was arranged and a few weeks later the witch and I were wed.


I did the best I could to put on a pleasant face for the evening but as it grew late I told my bride I needed to go to our hotel room and get some rest and she agreed to come with me. When we got to the room I went into the bathroom to catch my breath and try to figure out how I was going to manage to get through the night, let alone the years that lay ahead of us. After spending as much time as I could in hiding I stepped out of the bathroom to find a beautiful woman sitting on the edge of the bed.


“Where’s my wife?” “It’s me. Now that you are my husband I can reveal that a spell


was cast upon me. I am a beautiful woman for twelve hours and a witch for twelve hours. Now that you are my husband my schedule is your choice. I can be beautiful during the day and impress the neighbors or at night for your pleasure. Tell me what you would prefer.”


I knew that there was only one correct answer, “Do what will make you happy.”


“Thank you, you have freed me from the spell. I can be beauti- ful twenty-four hours a day now.” The point I am trying to make is that when you have to decide about what to do with your life do what will make you happy. Get out of your head and into your heart. We each have a right to a life of our own and not one that is imposed upon us by others, be they parents or spouses.


For many, Dr. Bernard Siegel-or Bernie, as he prefers to be- called-needs no introduction. He has touched many lives all over- the Planet. In 1978, he reached a national and then international audience when he began talking about patient empowerment and the choice to live fully and die in peace. As a physician who has cared for and counseled innumerable people whose mortality has been threatened by illness, Bernie embraces a philosophy of living and dying that stands at the forefront of the medical ethics and spiritual issues our Society grapples with today. Read Bernie’s regu- lar blog posts on his website where you will also find his books, articles, and CDs: http://www.berniesiegelmd.com.


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