UPBEAT TIMES, INC. • November 2016 • 25 Silver Linings


Living the Upbeat Life October’s word: AGRADECIDO A:


First, admit change is


Santa Rosa, CA. ~ SANTA ROSA. [Spanish, ah-grah-day- see-do] Each November, my personal practice is to be mind- ful of all the blessings in my life, and actually feel appreciation, and express my gratitude: “esta agradecido” (to be grateful). I’ve chosen to share a timely Q&A on that theme.


Q: I have a big family. We


hang out together a lot. Quiero a mi familia –I love my family, BUT for Thanksgiving, I usually cook the tur- keys, plan the meals, and coordinate things. Plus, relatives like to come to my home, and bring the mucha- chas and muchachos, who can get rowdy sometimes. I work two jobs, and am trying to look forward to Thanksgiving this year: but am kind of dreading it. I know this doesn’t sound very “upbeat.” --Advice? Thanks, Exhausted in Rohnert Park


“Learn as though you


would never be able to


master it; hold


it as though you would be in fear


of losing it.” Confucius


“It’s hard not to feel happy when you make someone smile.” ~ Roy T. Bennett UPBEAT TIMES, INC. • November 2016 • 25


needed, welcome relief, choose esta agradecido. T en take steps to actually experience la gratitud at T anksgiving this year, and begin a new, healthy approach to family get-togeth- ers. Prepare to delegate some responsibility for contact- ing everyone invited, for preparing the food, setting the table, washing dishes af- terwards, minding the kids. You probably have a big heart, and want everybody to have a perfectly great time. But guess what? You can’t control that, although you can infl uence it by being in a more grounded body and a balanced mood yourself. And by trusting your extended familia to come through. I wonder why you’ve taken


on so much of the preparation? Are you the most responsible? Capable? Talented?


Even if


your answer is yes, it would still be a giſt to yourself –and to your relatives –to trust them with more of the tasks. Can two families bring the main dish? Or make it a pot luck? Are there teenagers who could be trusted to mind the little ones? (Earn some baby-sitting


money?) Is anyone else’s home large enough, or could you ask clearly for help with the set up and clean up? T is is so impor- tant for those of us who tend to try to do it all ourselves. And it’s not fun, and it can be ex- hausting! –Take it from a re- covering ‘control freak.’ Most people –even other busy


by Marcia Singer • www.lovearts.info family members, hear


their


happy voices, feel the warmth, watch them swell with pride in contributing to the success of the gathering. As you imagine this, feel gratitude and appre- ciation bubble up all by itself within you… How blessed to have a big fam-


ily! Turn this worrying around. Turn it into your heart’s de- sire for more joy and energy to spread around.


Let go


of feeling oppressed, like a victim of set circumstances. Turn downstream, fl ow in the current of life’s blessings. An attitude of gratitude just feels naturally good. We ex- perience having –and being – enough. So set a good example in


your familia. Find a healthy pace, delegate responsibility, be more relaxed. Less can be


ones, understand the need to share the jobs involved; they’re OK with helping out when they feel that you TRUST and VALUE (i.e. appreciate) their contribution. So tell your folks things are changing this year, and that you’re excited about it! And so grateful for their talents and eff orts. Be upbeat! Prepare beforehand, with this


exercise. Close your eyes. Imag- ine the T anksgiving event go- ing better than ever. See your


more! Take time to praise oth- ers; include yourself. Maybe the muchachos and muchachas can participate by making or handing out little tokens of ap- preciation to everybody who’ll make a diff erence this year? Shining delight with la grati- tud, Marcia


HAVE A GREAT QUESTION FOR ME?


CONTACT ME


VIA MY WEBSITE GIVEN ABOVE. THANKS!


... continued from page 10 Wally and Elaine raised two chil-


dren, and he spent 18 years in the printing industry until he realized he hadn’t taken a vacation in 12 years, at which time he took a well- deserved break from the working world and was recruited by a friend to become a business partner in the laminated wood beam industry. He became a self-taught engineer of laminated beam construction and ultimately started his own broker- age company which was sold to a Northern California manufacturer which drew him back to Northern California from the Pacifi c North- west. His most unusual project was a laminated beam archway for a monastery, which was carved with the 12 disciples. After Elaine’s death from can-


cer, Wally met his current wife, Beverly, through a mutual friend and they moved to Oakmont in 1995. His active involvement in Oakmont started after a neighbor’s fence became a contentious neigh- borhood issue. Since then, he has “probably chaired every commit- tee” in Oakmont, and prefers to work in this capacity rather than serving on the Oakmont Village Association board of directors. Wally is motivated by his enjoy- ment of living in Oakmont and “one of the best spots on Earth,” and has become a “watchdog for what’s right and fair.” Wally Schil- pp has and continues to live his life by following the Golden Rule, to “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.” From


... continued on page 29


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