San Diego Reader November 3, 2016 73
news of the WeiRD
LEAD STORY —— In 2005, India enacted a landmark anti- poverty program, obligating the government to furnish 100 days’ minimum-wage work to unskilled laborers (potentially, 70 percent of the country’s 1.3 billion people). Programs of- ten fail in India because of rampant corruption, but a recent study by a Cambridge University researcher concluded that the 2005 law is fail- ing for the opposite reason — anti-corruption measures in the program. Its requirement of ex- treme transparency has created an exponential increase in paperwork (to minimize opportuni- ties for corruption), severely delaying the avail- ability of jobs.
Oh, My God! — Flooding from rains in August tore down a basement wall of the Connellsville (Pennsylva- nia) Church of God, wrecking and muddying parts of the building and threatening the fi rst- fl oor foundation, but under the policy written by the Church Mutual Insurance company, fl ooding damage is not covered, as rain is an “act of God.”
The Passing Parade — Vegetarian Deb Dusseau of Portland, Maine, celebrating her ten-year anniversary of “all veg- etables, all the time,” reported to a tattoo artist in August and now sports, on her right arm, wrist to shoulder, an eggplant, peppers, mushrooms, peas, greens, onions, a radish, and multiple to- matoes — drawn in an “old seed catalog” motif. — Pro baseball player Brandon T omas (of the independent Frontier League’s Gateway Griz-
zlies in St. Louis, Missouri) hit a bases-loaded home run on Aug. 21 — over the fence, into the adjacent parking lot, where the ball smashed the windshield...of his own car.
Least Competent Criminals — Boyd Wiley, 47, was arrested in August when he walked into the Putnam County (Florida) sheriff ’s offi ce and, apparently in all seriousness, demanded that deputies return the 91 mari- juana plants they had unearthed from a vacant lot in the town of Interlachen several days ear- lier. (Until that moment, deputies did not know whose plants they were.) Wiley was told that growing marijuana is illegal in Florida and was arrested. — T e most recent perp to realize that cops use Facebook is Mack Yearwood, 42, who ignored a relative’s advice and uploaded his Citrus Coun- ty, Florida, wanted poster for his Facebook pro- fi le picture, thus energizing deputies who, until then, had no leads on his whereabouts. He was caught a day later and faces a battery complaint and several open arrest warrants.
Super-Size Me — Texan Monica Riley, age 27 and weighing 700 pounds, is the most recent “super-sized” woman to claim happiness in exhibiting herself semi-nude for “fans” (she claims 20,000) who watch online as morbidly obese people eat. She told the celebrity news site Barcroſt Media in September that her 8000 calories a day puts her on track to weigh 1000 pounds soon, and that her loving boyfriend, Sid, 25 and a “feeder,” is turned on by helping her. Sid, for instance, feeds
Monica her special 3500-calorie “shake” — through a funnel — and supposedly will eagerly become her caretaker when she eats herself into total immobility.
No Longer Weird — Police in Centralia, Washington, arrested a man (not identifi ed in news reports) for reckless burning in August when, trying to rid his apart- ment of roaches, he declined ordinary aero- sol bug spray in favor of making a homemade fl amethrower (the aerosol spray fi red up by a lighter). He fl ed the apartment when he realized he might have taken things too far. (Firefi ghters were called, but the damage was minimal.) — In September, a tractor-trailer overturned on Interstate 295 in New Castle, Delaware, on the way to the U.S. Mint in Philadelphia, spilled 22 tons’ worth of pennies. But these were even less useful (though perhaps, by metal content, more valuable!) because they were not-yet-engraved “blanks.”
Updates — Roy Pearson, a former District of Columbia administrative law judge, may be the only per- son in America who believes that his 2005 $54 million unsuccessful lawsuit against his dry cleaners was not frivolous — and he has still not come to the end of his legal odyssey. In June 2016, a DC Bar disciplinary committee recom- mended that Pearson be placed on probation for two years because of ethics violations, including having made statements “unsupported” by facts when defending his contention that the cleaners’ “satisfaction guaranteed” warranty made it liable
by Chuck Shepherd © 2016
for various negative occurrences in Pearson’s life following the loss of a pair of pants at the store. Pearson, now 65, announced that he would chal- lenge the committee recommendation. — Russian performance artist Petr Pavlensky’s most infamous moment was in 2013 when, to protest government oppression, he nailed his scrotum to the ground at Moscow’s Red Square. (He had also once sewn his lips shut and, at another time, set fi re to a door at Russia’s FSB security headquarters.) In August,the Burger King company announced a series of four limited-edition sandwiches inspired by Pavlen- sky for the artist’s hometown of St. Petersburg. T e scrotum performance, for example, will be marked by an egg “nailed” to a burger by plastic spear. A company spokesperson said Pavlensky was chosen as the inspiration because he is pop- ular with “the masses.” — Once again, Iceland’s “little people” have, when disrespected, roiled the country’s public policy. In August, a road crew had inadvertently buried a supposedly enchanted elfi n rock along a highway being cleared of debris from a land- slide, and immediately, all misfortunes in the area were attributed to the elves’ displeasure. According to an Agence France-Presse dispatch, crews were quickly ordered to re-set the rock. (T e incident was one more in a long series in which public and private funds in Iceland are routinelydivertedtowardprojectsthought to appease the elves.)
Send your Weird News to Chuck Shepherd, San Diego Reader, P.O. Box 85803, San Diego, CA 92186 or to
WeirdNewsTips@Yahoo.com
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